The marketing industry has its fair share of bullshit. From “Do-Nothing” infomercials to self-proclaimed “Gurus,” businesses are always plotting to beat you up and take your lunch money.
It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. If people are begging for your cash, they clearly don’t know how to get rich fast.
Oh, and for the record, there is no such thing as a free iPod. If time is money, then 50 billion hours of online surveys is way too expensive.
I suppose there’s some truth in advertising. In fact, pharmaceutical commercials are a little too honest. Have you ever see these commercials? Following a breezy montage of people who now have something to live for, you’re usually socked with a full list of cautions…
“RELAXOFT may cause nose bleeds, baldness, memory loss, swollen ankles, facial boils, excessive earwax, uncontrollable cursing, an urge to play in the mud, road-rage, snoring while awake, lying under oath, atheism, and a desire to spit at small pets.”
Well damn. Next time I think I’ll keep the headache.
All these side-effects make for some awkward conversations. I can only imagine waking up one morning feeling like total crap and my mom decides to check on me. “What’s wrong?” she asks. “Uhh… I took medicine.”
The honesty in pharmaceutical commercials is also confusing. Usually what’s on the television has absolutely nothing to do with the product.
Vagisil commercials have girls doing cheer-leading routines. Male enhancement commercials have guys playing golf. My personal favorite are the herpes commercials: “I have herpes.” “I don’t.” “Let’s ride bicycles.”
When it comes to medication, it’s best to let the doctors decide. They usually know what they’re talking about. Usually.
For a while, I had a doctor whose office plants were always dead. How the hell was I supposed to trust him with my life?