I Can’t Help my Phone-y Habits

The cellphone has been saving the world from awkward situations since 1973.

Imagine you’re heading back to your dorm after one of those crazy get-drunk-and-make-bad-choices parties you see in a typical rom-com. As you drink and dash, you see a creepy guy from the party named Ted that you made out with. He doesn’t look nearly as good as he did two hours ago.

Also, Ted smells like kitten poop. Why? Just because.

You’d be doomed if you couldn’t pull out your cellphone and pretend to do something important as you pass him.

Don’t deny it. We all rely on cellphones to spare us from awkward encounters. I’ve actually perfected the technique. Usually, I write fake text messages to the person I’m trying to avoid. This way, my fingers’ movements look authentic.

The text will say something like, “Hey Rebecca, I don’t want to stop and talk to you, because you never shut up, and last time I stopped, you made me late to class, because you spent twenty five minutes talking about how your throat hurts, which is kind of ironic, and, oh, great, I made it past you.”

It’s a genius idea until you accidentally send one.

Cellphones also make it easier to say what’s on your mind. Without the face-to-face confrontation, I can text whatever the hell I want. It’s a lot easier to tell someone his chin looks like a butt when I’m safe at home… miles away from his fist (which looks like multiple butts).

Additionally, cellphones give me the courage to be annoying. Before their existence, I couldn’t walk into a store and talk to myself. Now, however, I can babble like a lunatic and avoid any consequences by merely pointing at the Bluetooth device in my ear.

But I do have to draw the line somewhere. I don’t think it’s fair to blame cellphones for car accidents. Seriously people, put the damn phone away while you’re driving. You’re driving a car; not a telephone booth. And while we’re on the subject, it’s not a beauty parlor or restaurant, either.

Even though cellphones spare me some weird encounters, I suppose they can also cause a few. There’s been times when I’ve texted someone, even though I didn’t want to, merely because they wouldn’t stop.

Fortunately, during every texting session in the world, at some point, a text is sent that means: “This is the end of the conversation. I’m gonna go do something interesting now.”

45 Comments Add yours

  1. Kitty says:

    Thank God for cellphones. I hardly can go anywhere without it. Believe me I even have it with me when I shower. XD

    But of course let's not forget the awkward moments that can happen because of it. I remembered accidentally sending a text to my mom that was actually meant for my boyfriend. THAT was an embarrassment.

    Best thing about cellphones, like emails, is that I can communicate with the person on the other end without needing to look at them face to face. That way, even if you piss them off (or vice versa), you can't see their facial expressions! LOL!

    —————–

    Thank you! I do try to make the header design as crafty as possible. XD

  2. OH gosh. I LOVE your blog design and your concept!
    Incredibly witty, fun, and entertaining.
    Two thumbs to the sky!

    btw, found you on linkedin.
    isn't that funny?

  3. HeelShields says:

    Funny – Some people you just have to let know that you don't have unlimited texting and they either have to stop texting or pay for unlimited – works every time.

  4. Matt Harvath says:

    I am seriously thinking of getting rid of my cell phone (or at least using it just for work!) I am sick of everyone texting, playing games and generally not paying attention to anything but their phones! Society is in big trouble!

  5. Kimmy says:

    XD I love how you can read between the lines. We all do these things and pretend not to. I’ve used the, can’t-talk-now, while waiting for the bus. Cell phones do come in handy. I sometimes dread texting certain people because I know it takes forever for them to stop. Texting is for quick messages. If I wanted a long conversation then I would have called or met with them in person. That sounds mean, but I can’t help but see it that way.

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