I Can’t Help my Phone-y Habits

The cellphone has been saving the world from awkward situations since 1973.

Imagine you’re heading back to your dorm after one of those crazy get-drunk-and-make-bad-choices parties you see in a typical rom-com. As you drink and dash, you see a creepy guy from the party named Ted that you made out with. He doesn’t look nearly as good as he did two hours ago.

Also, Ted smells like kitten poop. Why? Just because.

You’d be doomed if you couldn’t pull out your cellphone and pretend to do something important as you pass him.

Don’t deny it. We all rely on cellphones to spare us from awkward encounters. I’ve actually perfected the technique. Usually, I write fake text messages to the person I’m trying to avoid. This way, my fingers’ movements look authentic.

The text will say something like, “Hey Rebecca, I don’t want to stop and talk to you, because you never shut up, and last time I stopped, you made me late to class, because you spent twenty five minutes talking about how your throat hurts, which is kind of ironic, and, oh, great, I made it past you.”

It’s a genius idea until you accidentally send one.

Cellphones also make it easier to say what’s on your mind. Without the face-to-face confrontation, I can text whatever the hell I want. It’s a lot easier to tell someone his chin looks like a butt when I’m safe at home… miles away from his fist (which looks like multiple butts).

Additionally, cellphones give me the courage to be annoying. Before their existence, I couldn’t walk into a store and talk to myself. Now, however, I can babble like a lunatic and avoid any consequences by merely pointing at the Bluetooth device in my ear.

But I do have to draw the line somewhere. I don’t think it’s fair to blame cellphones for car accidents. Seriously people, put the damn phone away while you’re driving. You’re driving a car; not a telephone booth. And while we’re on the subject, it’s not a beauty parlor or restaurant, either.

Even though cellphones spare me some weird encounters, I suppose they can also cause a few. There’s been times when I’ve texted someone, even though I didn’t want to, merely because they wouldn’t stop.

Fortunately, during every texting session in the world, at some point, a text is sent that means: “This is the end of the conversation. I’m gonna go do something interesting now.”

45 Comments Add yours

  1. Lizette says:

    I've had to text someone I didn't want to text, only to get her to shut up about her favorite middle aged boyband. She's so obsessed, she makes my cell phone depressed! The things that woman writes would make your hair stand on end, and at the end of the day, you wish you could push her down a flight of stairs. Being the nice person that I am, it only works best within imagination. Cellphones are useful in emergency, they should never be even considered to be in use while driving. Which brings me to my next point, the same woman that loves her middle aged boyband, also has this habit of using the cell phone, and texting while driving! *imagines the "accidental" push down the stairs*

  2. Angie says:

    LOL at fake texting. I can never imagine myself doing that besides its kind of fun to just tell the person straight to the face the things that you would like to say.

    Anyway, technology really has its own pros and cons.

  3. mel says:

    hahaha! tooooo funny! if i did that i would accidentally send the messages too often, so i will opt out of that! lmao.

    and thanks, eh, really i am just taking it one day at a time, hopefully i will find a job soon enough, and then things will really just fall in place. as for the new charger, all i can do is hope i get one soon, but for now i will just have to use my SLOW PC. haha.

    btw, i'm in LOVE with your site.

  4. gem says:

    Omg that last bit kills me the most. I have one friend who will not shut up ever. I start giving one word responses and SHE STILL KEEPS GOING! Like seriously? Does she think I will always have time for some stupid conversation about whatever stupid self-involved thing she wants to talk about? UGH.

  5. Julia says:

    Hey Justin!

    LOL, I know. XD But I think wearing my gown would be a little too much. Haha

    Oh, well don't worry, you are not alone. I remember how retarded my notebooks were before. The Powerpuff GIrls were the bomb back then.

    Eep, never! Honestly, my drawings look like shit.

    And of course, LadyGaga4Layfe!

    OMG, I totally get you there. I fake text too, but I just press random buttons, because I'm afraid that I really MIGHT send the message!

  6. Kerry says:

    Oh god, my mobile has definitely saved me on more than one occasion. I live in a block of flats that has a courtyard I have to walk through to get out. There's always a person sat in there smoking who I don't like, so I pretend to be texting as I walk by to avoid eye contact. It just makes it less awkward as I try and sneak past.

    It kind of annoys me when people use texts to address something that they wouldn't dare speak about in person. I mean, if they don't feel that they can say something to your face, why say it through a phone.. it's like a weird protection barrier, I guess.

  7. BEBE says:

    hahaha.. this is a nice post Justin! I enjoyed reading it. And yes I agree.. cellphones can give people something to blame about.. but it never happened to me as far as I'm concerned. 🙂

    I'm really thankful because of these cellphones. It makes communication a lot easier than it was years ago. I tried doing the snail mail thing where you have to wait for days or worst weeks just to get the message you're waiting for. hahaha.. but now, with cellphone you don't have to wait that long anymore. 🙂

  8. Shannon says:

    lmao! I try to avoid giving out my phone number as much as possible but it seems that people can be rather persistent. Sometimes people just become uninteresting after a while. I have a tendency to ignore texts too, even if it's completely rude. After a while they get the point… sometimes.

  9. Sindara says:

    I love your layout babe, especially the epic color change!

    Tell you the truth I hardly ever use my phone unless I absolutely need it.

    I hate those headsets, some woman was behind me somewhere and I living in a small town where those are not used, thought she was talking to me when she said excuse me. I said sorry and moved out of her way. As she walked past she gave me a mean look and said something like, some girl thought I was talking to her and started to laugh. I was so embarrassed. This was all in Cincinnati.

    How have you been hun?

  10. Angelica says:

    When bluetooth headsets started becoming popular a friend of mine first thought: weird, theres a lot of schizophrenic people around these days.

    Speaking of cell phones, have you ever had someone you just gave your number call you while youre still standing in front of the person, to check you actually gave the person your real number? Now thats awkward. For them. Like seriously? Who does that?

    You asked about nickel allergy. You can get it if youre exposed to jewelery with nickel in for a long period of time. For me Ive been wearing jewelery which apparently had nickel in them for years. I believe nickel allergy is the most common allergy in the world. Its everywhere. In buttons on jeans, money, jewelery.

    My titanium earrings are more pricey but worth the price. Titanium is the metal used in bone screws and stuff since its the metal the body accepts the most and is the last allergenic.

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