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I Peed A Little - When Writers Wrote Books
I PEED A LITTLE :: When Writers Wrote Books |
01
Jun
2009 |
|  Do you remember back when books were written by journalists, poets, essayists, satirists, and other people that actually had training in literary skills? Gosh. It seems like the standards for publication have been lowered recently. Nowadays, many novels are written by celebrities, criminals, liars, murderers, convicted sex offenders, crooked politicians, tattle-tales, plus friends and relatives of all of the above.
I mean, I just read an article about a woman from Alabama who had a crappy childhood and wanted people to know about it. She was illiterate, and she couldn't sign her own name. Surprisingly enough, she was still able to get published. I wonder if she even knows what she wrote...
And need I mention Kanye West's new book? It only has 52 pages -- some of which have three words, and others which are blank. WTF! How is it that a guy who thinks "books are bad" can get published before me? As with television, it appears that the uneducated go farther in life.
My advice to all those yearning to be writers is the following: Do not get bogged down with style, theme, character development, pacing, originality, tone, coherence, craft, plot, viewpoint, description, entertainment, opening sentences, endings, and all the other crap that stands in the way of getting recognition, royalties, and long lines of people waiting at Barnes & Noble for your book signing.
Simply figure out a way to get your picture in the papers. Possible methods include: dating a millionaire, getting cast on a reality show (most of which require no talent), or pissing off PETA. You may even try stalking a celebrity for months.
Of course, if you get tabloid coverage in a sensational murder case -- especially one involving missing body parts -- your career will skyrocket, and the best-seller list will be yours for at least 30 weeks. (Kill Kanye. It won't be "Heartless.")
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| Marie
Jun 10th (09:55 pm)
| Hey how are you... thank u for the comment! =) |
| henry
Jun 10th (09:54 pm)
| I really like your site! |
| Helena
Jun 10th (09:31 pm)
| Oh man you're making a lot of sense! Killing Kanye will be the next best to-do-list for summer! |
| katrice
Jun 10th (08:02 pm)
| Funny but true. The worst are those reality stars and there books. What ever happened to talent now its all about who you know and what tabloid you can flash your chest at. smh. it's a shame. |
| Tellie
Jun 9th (11:57 pm)
| Yeah, it's sad what the world is coming too. I think there are still the same amount of "good, qualified publishers" but the way the world is now, it is easier for people to get published so they just make it harder to find the good ones.
Also, There are a lot of new laws being formulated to stop people from "profiting" from crimes. |
| Kaz
Jun 9th (01:48 pm)
| You're right, nowadays everything in the media seems to be about z-lister celebs, I went to the book section in this shop and the whole chart was autobiographies by various zeleb that I really couldn't care less about. It is really sad thb. Thanks for the comment on my site :) |
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Howdy! I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana. I lived there for thirteen years before my family moved up to Cincinnati, Ohio. I am currently a junior computer science major at Xavier University. My eyes are blue, my hair is brown, and with my crazy white-kid fro', I'm about six feet tall. Read more...
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