 |
|
|
I Peed A Little - When Writers Wrote Books
I PEED A LITTLE :: When Writers Wrote Books |
01
Jun
2009 |
|  Do you remember back when books were written by journalists, poets, essayists, satirists, and other people that actually had training in literary skills? Gosh. It seems like the standards for publication have been lowered recently. Nowadays, many novels are written by celebrities, criminals, liars, murderers, convicted sex offenders, crooked politicians, tattle-tales, plus friends and relatives of all of the above.
I mean, I just read an article about a woman from Alabama who had a crappy childhood and wanted people to know about it. She was illiterate, and she couldn't sign her own name. Surprisingly enough, she was still able to get published. I wonder if she even knows what she wrote...
And need I mention Kanye West's new book? It only has 52 pages -- some of which have three words, and others which are blank. WTF! How is it that a guy who thinks "books are bad" can get published before me? As with television, it appears that the uneducated go farther in life.
My advice to all those yearning to be writers is the following: Do not get bogged down with style, theme, character development, pacing, originality, tone, coherence, craft, plot, viewpoint, description, entertainment, opening sentences, endings, and all the other crap that stands in the way of getting recognition, royalties, and long lines of people waiting at Barnes & Noble for your book signing.
Simply figure out a way to get your picture in the papers. Possible methods include: dating a millionaire, getting cast on a reality show (most of which require no talent), or pissing off PETA. You may even try stalking a celebrity for months.
Of course, if you get tabloid coverage in a sensational murder case -- especially one involving missing body parts -- your career will skyrocket, and the best-seller list will be yours for at least 30 weeks. (Kill Kanye. It won't be "Heartless.")
|
|
|
| Nnie
Jun 9th (08:01 am)
| In my country there's a murderer (he has killed about ten people or so) wrote a book -____- I haven't heard about Kanye West published a book. I'm sure it's not great. I've read Paris Hilton's book and it seems like she wrote different story for each paragraph... I couldn't stand it at all. And how could a book...52 pages!? WTF. |
| tiff k
Jun 9th (07:07 am)
| Man, I've noticed that too and it is saddening... that people buy into their crap. I have no idea why they would want to be published, it's all just for the money anyway. Sighs.. :( Howell I do hope people would recognize the worth of the better writers. This is why I still keep on buying books and support my favorite authors. (Not twilight!!)
Howell hope the world can change... |
| Chiui
Jun 9th (06:21 am)
| heck yes. more of the uneducated go farther in life. I've noticed that. XD Let's quit school!
haha kidding. Their stupidity makes them famous. I know some Filipino (like me) guy who wrote this book using colloquial language, his books became a hit because the uneducated people could relate with what he's saying (but he was educated), and so those who hated books found a book that they liked. |
| Cindy
Jun 8th (01:46 pm)
| Kanye is a douche who produces catchy songs. For him to "write" a book is a joke, and a pure mockery to all authentic authors out there. He is just in it to make more money and support his anti-reading hating ass. I would like to buy his book only to slap him silly with it. So I could get arrested/sued, but it will so be worth it. But seriously...what is wrong with the world?
By the way, I absolutely love your site. =] When I first visited, I could not help but laugh at the layout and the super awesome domain name. |
| Tehya
Jun 7th (06:06 pm)
| ah hi I just left you a really hilarious comment but the stupid anti spam went and let me down. Me being that funny in two comments is just not on.I can't do it mate |
| Lyndsay
Jun 7th (04:19 pm)
| I've actually always wanted to secretly be an author myself. Knowing that almost anyone these day can get published reasures me. (:
I completly agree though, I was watching an interview with someone (ikr, *yawn*) and the interviewer was like "so you wrote blah blah blah in your book" and the person was like "er.. I did?"..
was funny! ;D |
<< PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 NEXT >>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Howdy! I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana. I lived there for thirteen years before my family moved up to Cincinnati, Ohio. I am currently a junior computer science major at Xavier University. My eyes are blue, my hair is brown, and with my crazy white-kid fro', I'm about six feet tall. Read more...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
