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I Peed A Little - When Writers Wrote Books
I PEED A LITTLE :: When Writers Wrote Books |
01
Jun
2009 |
|  Do you remember back when books were written by journalists, poets, essayists, satirists, and other people that actually had training in literary skills? Gosh. It seems like the standards for publication have been lowered recently. Nowadays, many novels are written by celebrities, criminals, liars, murderers, convicted sex offenders, crooked politicians, tattle-tales, plus friends and relatives of all of the above.
I mean, I just read an article about a woman from Alabama who had a crappy childhood and wanted people to know about it. She was illiterate, and she couldn't sign her own name. Surprisingly enough, she was still able to get published. I wonder if she even knows what she wrote...
And need I mention Kanye West's new book? It only has 52 pages -- some of which have three words, and others which are blank. WTF! How is it that a guy who thinks "books are bad" can get published before me? As with television, it appears that the uneducated go farther in life.
My advice to all those yearning to be writers is the following: Do not get bogged down with style, theme, character development, pacing, originality, tone, coherence, craft, plot, viewpoint, description, entertainment, opening sentences, endings, and all the other crap that stands in the way of getting recognition, royalties, and long lines of people waiting at Barnes & Noble for your book signing.
Simply figure out a way to get your picture in the papers. Possible methods include: dating a millionaire, getting cast on a reality show (most of which require no talent), or pissing off PETA. You may even try stalking a celebrity for months.
Of course, if you get tabloid coverage in a sensational murder case -- especially one involving missing body parts -- your career will skyrocket, and the best-seller list will be yours for at least 30 weeks. (Kill Kanye. It won't be "Heartless.")
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| Felisa
Jun 10th (10:15 pm)
| I forgot to mention that I may or may not make inappropriate comments at times. Haha Oh, and I was totally talking about your performance... not anything else :P |
| Spencer
Jun 10th (10:15 pm)
| Thanks, Justin! I worked... a freaking really, really long time on it. ASLDFJASLDK but now it's done and I don't have to work on it anymore haha. |
| Nnie
Jun 10th (10:14 pm)
| dear affiliates, BrilliantMistakes.co.nr has moved to BrilliantMistakes.FinalDesire.org. Please change my link as soon as you can. Love, Nnie |
| Chelley
Jun 10th (10:14 pm)
| i'm holding a contest to win a free domain. if you know anybody looking for a domain direct them to my site! |
| Sylvia
Jun 10th (10:13 pm)
| i was feeling so left out while i was stalking...err...i mean looking around. so i'm jumping in here! |
| Meaghan!
Jun 10th (10:12 pm)
| Hah! I was going to the Audio & Video to watch your superbowl thing & I found "I Hate This Part" XDDI watched it. It was hilarioussss lol. Was that your middle finger? XD |
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Howdy! I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana. I lived there for thirteen years before my family moved up to Cincinnati, Ohio. I am currently a junior computer science major at Xavier University. My eyes are blue, my hair is brown, and with my crazy white-kid fro', I'm about six feet tall. Read more...
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