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I Peed A Little - When Writers Wrote Books
I PEED A LITTLE :: When Writers Wrote Books |
01
Jun
2009 |
|  Do you remember back when books were written by journalists, poets, essayists, satirists, and other people that actually had training in literary skills? Gosh. It seems like the standards for publication have been lowered recently. Nowadays, many novels are written by celebrities, criminals, liars, murderers, convicted sex offenders, crooked politicians, tattle-tales, plus friends and relatives of all of the above.
I mean, I just read an article about a woman from Alabama who had a crappy childhood and wanted people to know about it. She was illiterate, and she couldn't sign her own name. Surprisingly enough, she was still able to get published. I wonder if she even knows what she wrote...
And need I mention Kanye West's new book? It only has 52 pages -- some of which have three words, and others which are blank. WTF! How is it that a guy who thinks "books are bad" can get published before me? As with television, it appears that the uneducated go farther in life.
My advice to all those yearning to be writers is the following: Do not get bogged down with style, theme, character development, pacing, originality, tone, coherence, craft, plot, viewpoint, description, entertainment, opening sentences, endings, and all the other crap that stands in the way of getting recognition, royalties, and long lines of people waiting at Barnes & Noble for your book signing.
Simply figure out a way to get your picture in the papers. Possible methods include: dating a millionaire, getting cast on a reality show (most of which require no talent), or pissing off PETA. You may even try stalking a celebrity for months.
Of course, if you get tabloid coverage in a sensational murder case -- especially one involving missing body parts -- your career will skyrocket, and the best-seller list will be yours for at least 30 weeks. (Kill Kanye. It won't be "Heartless.")
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| Kat
Jun 6th (05:04 am)
| it is SO confusing, but my new host gave me my account details so i'm taking that as the fact it's started moving *yay* and that would be great :)
WTF Kanye wrote a book?? he says he hates reading too
he's such a dick
LOLOLOL
I want to be a famous author LOL maybe i'll take some of those into consideration xD |
| Sage
Jun 6th (12:10 am)
| I agree, it seems that anyone can be a writer these days. Hell, anyone can be anything these days! Music has completely gone down hill and I've even seen some pretty horrible acting too. But then I also thought that in terms of book writing, some may not be able to relate to the things that others write but there may just be some people out here who can relate to such crap. You know? |
| Jessica
Jun 5th (09:40 pm)
| Well, I definitely agree with you that there are many, MANY people who just should NOT get things published, lol!
But, about the woman from Alabama, I'm sure her book had a point to it. Reading about someone elses struggles can be very eye opening, and the fact that she wrote a book even though she COULDN'T even sign her own name, that's pretty amazing. That's probably why she was able to get published, because she had a good story to tell.
But yeah, I do agree with you on the other things xD I think most celebrities just write books because they can.. I mean, no ones going to tell a celebrity, No, you can't write this book because you're stupid. :P |
| Gabrielle
Jun 5th (09:19 pm)
| hahaha i love reading your blog (x |
| Jhase
Jun 5th (05:43 pm)
| Finally, someone said it! Kayne is a moron. You're right though, publishing books are so terrible these days. What happened to quality writing, I ask? Better yet, what happened to actual plot, researching, thought, detail, and beta readers that don't go "Yeah it's great that's all."?
I agree with you, killing Kanye wouldn't be heartless. It'd be a joy really, they should film it live.
Now get to writing a book so I can steal the credit and your cash. =D |
| Nancy
Jun 5th (04:44 pm)
| Haha, I must say your blog was so funny and entertaining! It was very well written! Also, before I forget, thank you so much for your comment! It meant a lot to come from someone I feel so accomplished in web design!
Also, I must agree with this blog completely! It seems now it's just more about the fame then the actual quality of people. Like if you compare Britain's Got Talent and American Idol, even though both have Simon Cowell it seems people who go on BGT want to showcase their talent whereas people on AI want fame and even if they get it, it's only for 15 minutes.
Do you know the paper, Newsday? My friend seriously recently told it it's only written at a 3rd grade level! How depressing! I seriously think people these days need to start using bigger vocab when they write to hopefully start educating Americans. Hahaha that was funny about Kanye's book. I'm sure he had nothing to do with it and let his agent do everything. That's so stupid that he said books were bad and published a book. Haha I love your advice on getting your picture in the papers. Brilliant. |
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Howdy! I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana. I lived there for thirteen years before my family moved up to Cincinnati, Ohio. I am currently a junior computer science major at Xavier University. My eyes are blue, my hair is brown, and with my crazy white-kid fro', I'm about six feet tall. Read more...
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