 |
|
|
I Peed A Little - When Writers Wrote Books
I PEED A LITTLE :: When Writers Wrote Books |
01
Jun
2009 |
|  Do you remember back when books were written by journalists, poets, essayists, satirists, and other people that actually had training in literary skills? Gosh. It seems like the standards for publication have been lowered recently. Nowadays, many novels are written by celebrities, criminals, liars, murderers, convicted sex offenders, crooked politicians, tattle-tales, plus friends and relatives of all of the above.
I mean, I just read an article about a woman from Alabama who had a crappy childhood and wanted people to know about it. She was illiterate, and she couldn't sign her own name. Surprisingly enough, she was still able to get published. I wonder if she even knows what she wrote...
And need I mention Kanye West's new book? It only has 52 pages -- some of which have three words, and others which are blank. WTF! How is it that a guy who thinks "books are bad" can get published before me? As with television, it appears that the uneducated go farther in life.
My advice to all those yearning to be writers is the following: Do not get bogged down with style, theme, character development, pacing, originality, tone, coherence, craft, plot, viewpoint, description, entertainment, opening sentences, endings, and all the other crap that stands in the way of getting recognition, royalties, and long lines of people waiting at Barnes & Noble for your book signing.
Simply figure out a way to get your picture in the papers. Possible methods include: dating a millionaire, getting cast on a reality show (most of which require no talent), or pissing off PETA. You may even try stalking a celebrity for months.
Of course, if you get tabloid coverage in a sensational murder case -- especially one involving missing body parts -- your career will skyrocket, and the best-seller list will be yours for at least 30 weeks. (Kill Kanye. It won't be "Heartless.")
|
|
|
| Sue
Jun 5th (02:39 pm)
| Oh thanks :)! Haha. It's pretty gloomy outside right now so I'm a bit anxious for tomorrow. I think I'm seeing things, but there's little bits of blue sky poking out from under the clouds! hahah.
Ugh @ celebrities and all those people who don't deserve to get all those benefits because they did this and that. I mean, what the heck happened to people who worked hard for their job!? :P Hahah. |
| Amber
Jun 5th (01:02 pm)
| Just as bad as people like Paris Hilton and Kanye West writing books about god knows what are disney kids writing BIOGRAPHYS. Seriously? You're 16. Wtf. You write a bio when you're a senior. What do you write? "I went to elementary school, grade 11 is pretty cool so far..." |
| Nina
Jun 5th (05:54 am)
| Hey there Justin :D
Thanks for the comment, glad you liked my photograph.
LOL, I really do agree, take freakin' Miley Cyrus and those darn Jonas Brothers... They have books about their lives, as if they are so old now and they have so damn much to tell us about how daddy bought me a pony or about how Nick doesn't wake up early :( Seriously, it's getting on my last nerve.
For what it's worth, I hope you get published and save the world from these crappy "BOOKS"!
Peace. |
| Cristina
Jun 5th (03:24 am)
| yeah....it's just a stupid review. She's just jealous, in my opinion. Anyway we all love Vicky so....
You're right. Where are our big writers? I see at TV that only politicians write new and new books and I'll never read these stupid books. Anyway I don't think we will see more good authors than J.K. Rowling and Dan Brown. My opinion! |
| Kaye
Jun 5th (02:58 am)
| that's true. they are not so many good writers nowadays. |
| Georgina
Jun 5th (01:28 am)
| Haha Kanye West?! It's like the time Paris Hilton wrote a book and I was like... WTF?! And it turns out that it was about fashion and her fashion tips.
I wouldn't want to be famous; I think I'd lose my intelligence in the process. Heh, heh.
It's not fair though, just because they're celebrities doesn't mean they can write a GOOD book. They shouldn't be allowed. Illiterate bastards. XD |
<< PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 NEXT >>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Howdy! I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana. I lived there for thirteen years before my family moved up to Cincinnati, Ohio. I am currently a junior computer science major at Xavier University. My eyes are blue, my hair is brown, and with my crazy white-kid fro', I'm about six feet tall. Read more...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
