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I Peed A Little - When Writers Wrote Books
I PEED A LITTLE :: When Writers Wrote Books |
01
Jun
2009 |
|  Do you remember back when books were written by journalists, poets, essayists, satirists, and other people that actually had training in literary skills? Gosh. It seems like the standards for publication have been lowered recently. Nowadays, many novels are written by celebrities, criminals, liars, murderers, convicted sex offenders, crooked politicians, tattle-tales, plus friends and relatives of all of the above.
I mean, I just read an article about a woman from Alabama who had a crappy childhood and wanted people to know about it. She was illiterate, and she couldn't sign her own name. Surprisingly enough, she was still able to get published. I wonder if she even knows what she wrote...
And need I mention Kanye West's new book? It only has 52 pages -- some of which have three words, and others which are blank. WTF! How is it that a guy who thinks "books are bad" can get published before me? As with television, it appears that the uneducated go farther in life.
My advice to all those yearning to be writers is the following: Do not get bogged down with style, theme, character development, pacing, originality, tone, coherence, craft, plot, viewpoint, description, entertainment, opening sentences, endings, and all the other crap that stands in the way of getting recognition, royalties, and long lines of people waiting at Barnes & Noble for your book signing.
Simply figure out a way to get your picture in the papers. Possible methods include: dating a millionaire, getting cast on a reality show (most of which require no talent), or pissing off PETA. You may even try stalking a celebrity for months.
Of course, if you get tabloid coverage in a sensational murder case -- especially one involving missing body parts -- your career will skyrocket, and the best-seller list will be yours for at least 30 weeks. (Kill Kanye. It won't be "Heartless.")
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| becca chang.
Jun 2nd (02:32 am)
| Agreed (Y).
Anyway, I quite like the sound of stalking a celebrity... I'm going to try that some time o_O. |
| Lorena
Jun 1st (07:57 pm)
| Ughh!! I know!! I hate that now anyone can write a book and get it published!! Instead of giving an oportunity to lots of really good and talented writters out there.
How could that woman make it??!! That's just so insane... |
| Heather
Jun 1st (07:06 pm)
| Amen, dude. Amen.
As a fellow writer, I feel your pain. It's a crazy publishing world out there. It really is. But if you have the will and determination, it shall eventually happen. :) |
| Aly
Jun 1st (05:55 pm)
| Lol, I've noticed that a lot of celebrities have decided to try their hand at writing. They almost always completely fail of course, since they can't write for crap, but like you said, people will still buy their books just because they're famous. Tsk tsk. Kanye West has a book now though? What is the world coming to! I would probably actually read it if I someone lent me a copy, just out of interest...surely I could find a spare 3 or 4 minutes in a day to read it from cover to cover. :P As for pissing off PETA, I am very good at pissing off PETA. Not because of animal cruelty of course...but Peta is my mother. Hehehe. Sorry, I'm so terribly lame. :P |
| Kinza
Jun 1st (05:25 pm)
| I've never read books by celebrities - ever. Well, I guess sometimes authors become celebrities, but that's beside the point. |
| Marianne
Jun 1st (03:20 pm)
| It does seem like 'everyone' is writing and publishing books lately. @_@ |
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Howdy! I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana. I lived there for thirteen years before my family moved up to Cincinnati, Ohio. I am currently a junior computer science major at Xavier University. My eyes are blue, my hair is brown, and with my crazy white-kid fro', I'm about six feet tall. Read more...
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