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I Peed A Little - When Writers Wrote Books
I PEED A LITTLE :: When Writers Wrote Books |
01
Jun
2009 |
|  Do you remember back when books were written by journalists, poets, essayists, satirists, and other people that actually had training in literary skills? Gosh. It seems like the standards for publication have been lowered recently. Nowadays, many novels are written by celebrities, criminals, liars, murderers, convicted sex offenders, crooked politicians, tattle-tales, plus friends and relatives of all of the above.
I mean, I just read an article about a woman from Alabama who had a crappy childhood and wanted people to know about it. She was illiterate, and she couldn't sign her own name. Surprisingly enough, she was still able to get published. I wonder if she even knows what she wrote...
And need I mention Kanye West's new book? It only has 52 pages -- some of which have three words, and others which are blank. WTF! How is it that a guy who thinks "books are bad" can get published before me? As with television, it appears that the uneducated go farther in life.
My advice to all those yearning to be writers is the following: Do not get bogged down with style, theme, character development, pacing, originality, tone, coherence, craft, plot, viewpoint, description, entertainment, opening sentences, endings, and all the other crap that stands in the way of getting recognition, royalties, and long lines of people waiting at Barnes & Noble for your book signing.
Simply figure out a way to get your picture in the papers. Possible methods include: dating a millionaire, getting cast on a reality show (most of which require no talent), or pissing off PETA. You may even try stalking a celebrity for months.
Of course, if you get tabloid coverage in a sensational murder case -- especially one involving missing body parts -- your career will skyrocket, and the best-seller list will be yours for at least 30 weeks. (Kill Kanye. It won't be "Heartless.")
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| Bri
Jun 11th (12:31 am)
| Sorry for the ad, Trying to get the word out:
Hey Hey Hey! Do you not have a domain and want one? Or have one and just want another? Falene’s Domain contest ends in two day! Falene.com |
| Lauren
Jun 10th (10:18 pm)
| "I have a thunderstorm fetish. Every time it rains, I moan and hump my wall." really made me laugh lmfao. Anyway nice site. |
| Viki
Jun 10th (10:18 pm)
| lol, yeah. I hate when that happens, or you type your website name wrong on a comment, and never get a much wanted reply D: |
| Sarah
Jun 10th (10:17 pm)
| Good thanks :) What about you? My mum says start each day with a smile as well. Gar. Good luck with the diapers! :P |
| Jhase
Jun 10th (10:16 pm)
| Lmao. Well fine, let's see bad habits. I cuss way to much sometimes, I rant way to much, I'm moody, I can be selfish, I'm not as ambitious as I could be, I fall in love way to easily. |
| Lishie
Jun 10th (10:16 pm)
| hey, thanks for the site comment :) im liking the site name, now i know what my friend was on about in maths today! lol, and the baby on your layout is just awesome! I've written too much so, byeee :) |
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Howdy! I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana. I lived there for thirteen years before my family moved up to Cincinnati, Ohio. I am currently a junior computer science major at Xavier University. My eyes are blue, my hair is brown, and with my crazy white-kid fro', I'm about six feet tall. Read more...
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