Shred Pounds with CHAINSAW
Millions of people around the world are bummed out by their bodies. Desperate to drop a few pounds, they end up doing more harm than good with fad diets and pricey surgeries. They care so much about how they look on the outside that they’re perfectly willing to wreak havoc on their insides.
If you’re one of these folks, then boy, do I have the product for you!
Ever dream of rocking that new bathing suit at the beach with confidence? Want to squeeze into a size four for your sister’s no-fatties-allowed wedding? Dying to enjoy amusement park rides from inside the cars?
Worry no more! Weight loss is now instant and requires little to no effort. The newest diet revolution is here. Introducing: CHAINSAW.
With CHAINSAW, all your weight woes are history. Unlike other weight loss programs, the CHAINSAW method is a breeze and doesn’t demand months of dedication. You will shed pounds in mere seconds!
After signing up for CHAINSAW, you’ll receive a package in the mail within 2-5 business days. Once it arrives, take CHAINSAW out of the box and fire it up. Hit the ON button, and simply apply CHAINSAW to any limb of your choosing (warning: this part may get messy).
Once you’ve completed these simple steps, head to the nearest scale. Take your time and watch your step—those red puddles of “excess pounds” can be slippery. Remember, safety always comes first with CHAINSAW!
While weighing yourself, you should notice an instant difference. Heck, if you stand on the scale long enough, you might even see the pounds drop before your very eyes!
The average limb weighs 10-25 pounds, and CHAINSAW uses a patented scientific whatchamajigger to whittle that weight down to practically nothing.
So what’s the catch? How much does this miracle product cost? Well, sign up now and you’ll get the best deal in town. Most people are willing to give an arm and a leg for their dream body, and with CHAINSAW, that’s all we’re asking for!
Call now! Cut off your food addiction. Shred that unwanted body fat. Sever your ties with depression.
CHAINSAW also doubles as a toothbrush.
118 Comments
Amy
Yeah, I think it is. I never liked it much either, it was too predictable. They always had to fix it.
I used to love Blue's Clues but it drove my mother crazy. I've now got the post song in my head. 'The post is here, the post is here….' I liked Barney, the teletubbies and playdays as well. I don't even remember some of them. 🙂
Kids TV's getting really rubbish now. All the characters speak jibberish, it's silly.
xx
Alya
Nothing really, my life is reallllllllllyyyyyyyy boring at the moment to the maaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxx lolz
What have you been doing??
Amy
Haha. Bob the Builder's taking over. Watch out.
xx
Tiaralynn
omg. lol
i am fat, but hell nah if i am gonna do that. lol
reminds me of a scary movie where this girl wants to lose weight, the ghost/monster chops her arm off. haha
Amy
I think it was the real Bob the Builder. He's always trying to be educational is our Bob. Haha. 🙂
xx
Amy
Very funny. 🙂 A bit of an insane way to lose weight, I'd rather stay the same weight than that. Lol. 🙂
Chainsaws could also be used as the next razor: for the closest shave yet!!
xx
Mandie
haha wow, I seriously love reading your blogs they alwasy crack me up haha XD.
and thats cool I was in some plays when I was in elementary school, but when I got older none of my school had drama classes and I was too lazy to go out and find a drama club of some sort.
But I love to sing too. My mom says Im good, but I think she's just saying that cause she's my mom. haha xD
Mary
If it looks better that would be a good thing duh!! 🙂
Vicky
Lol yeah, I liked the colours 😀 Thanks!
Hehe, I just need to think of how to make them, i'll just have to practise 😀
LMFAO @ your blog! I just read your blog out to my sister, and she thought 'chainsaw' was really a weight loss thing LOL. shes dumb 🙂
Nnie
Kick him. Until he dies. Lol joking.
I love your bloggg 😀 I remember about my friend that joined a diet program, I've tell you that I guess. O yeah that girl is the same girl that has BlackBerry CURVE too.
Sarah
The icon is all over the place, but I got it on an Xanga site 🙂
I love pink panther. Especially when he attempts to say hamburger 😀
This blog is so funny! I hate people who are so obsessed with their weight when they are skinny though, especially when they only do it for attention -_- I really must suggest this method of weight loss though 😛
-Sarah
Alya
Thanks thanks <3
I have got to try the chainsaw on myself lol hahahaha
Hilarious…. lols
I always love to read your blogs…
you made my day 😀
Fia
No, I meant the idea. LOL xD
Mary
You still wouldn't be able to go to the beach cause your wouldn't have much skin on your arms you'd be asked to leave for indecent exposure.
BTW I forgive you but be nicer to me! 🙂
Fia
HAHAHA. LMAO.
Where the hell did you pick this from? It's hilarious! Goes well for the overly diet-obsessed people. xD
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