I’m freaking out right now. I barely catch my breath. With 2010 upon us, there’s a crisis on our hands.
No, I’m not talking about Doomsday predictions, a zombie apocalypse, or even running out of toilet paper. This is far more terrifying. Brace yourself. We’re facing the extinction of novelty New Year’s glasses.
For a solid decade, the two zeros in the middle of the year were a godsend for eyewear designers. They could whip up these “ingenious” glasses, and suddenly, everyone had to have a pair for their New Year’s shindig. And if you couldn’t snag a pair, well, you’d have to hide your face by making out with everyone. (At least, that’s my theory behind all the kissing at these parties.)
Back in 2010, the novelty glasses nearly bit the dust. But lo and behold, creative engineering saved the day by shifting the glasses to the right. Sure, the glasses felt a bit lopsided, but considering most partygoers celebrate by getting drunk and falling over, it somehow balanced out.
But now, with 2011 peeking around the corner, we’re staring down the barrel of a massive conundrum. There’s just one zero. What in the world are we going to do?
If you’ve ever watched coverage of New York, you know these glasses sell like hotcakes. Not only that, they save the city a boatload of cash; these literal spectacles keep New Yorkers so mesmerized that they forget about the lack of otherΒ spectacles like fireworks. Instead, they cheer on a ball drop (because who doesn’t want to witness puberty in action?)
The disappearance of these party glasses will spell doom for cities and eyewear companies alike. Before we know it, the global economy will be in shambles. The Mayans tried to warn us. If I recall correctly, there’s a part in their calendar that read, “Listen to that Justin guy who peed a little. Let him be your leader.”
But hey, maybe we can brainstorm some alternative 2011 designs before it’s too late. On the bright side, we’ve still got one zero left in the year. That should keep the cyclops and pirate communities happy. But alas, that’s only 40% of the population.
Perhaps we can do what they did in the 18th century? You know, back when everyone wore New Year’s monocles?
Scratch that. I’ve got a better idea! Let’s compromise the witty design but give the glasses a purpose; turn them into sunglasses. Then we can all pretend we’re celebrities, dodging the paparazzi left and right.
Or how about marketing the glasses as protective gear? You know what they say; never hit a man with glasses. Besides, it makes more sense to hit him with a baseball bat.
But enough of my rambling. Time’s ticking away, and we’re on the brink of a major disaster. Do any of you have any lens-crafty ideas?
they could make the zero one O and the other one a square and the 11 will be both sides π —-2O–1_1—-
:O You're totally right! What will happen, ho hum. The 2010 ones don't look nearly as cool D: You've actually started to worry me Justin D:
LOLOLOL! Everyone wants to watch puberty, of course π
Hell ya, we should have listened to the Mayans the whole time π
–
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
And of course I knew lol, I have a dirty mind, so I instantly caught on hahaha π
xD I argue a lot but give up knowing that the other person are stubborn and will never change their mind. xP
—
LMAO. This blog is hilarious. I have never heard of these glasses before. :S I think I might be living under a rock or something :s Monocles don't sound like a bad idea but 2 and 11 will be weirdly placed. Poor companies. π
So far, alot of things have happened in 2010. D:
I really don't get why people wear those glasses, they look really weird. I wonder what they're going to do next year. Might be a bit hard though. :/
HAHAHAHA. Hopefully, where I live, these aren't popular.
Really. I can't imagine those glasses with a 1 in the middle xDD They looked better in 2009.
This blog made me laugh a lot. LOL
At least they won't have to think about 2013 glasses. The world will be over π
When I saw those glasses with the 1's in the middle kind of raised to still have the 0's be the lenses, I actually laughed out loud. They are so awful looking. For next year, they will probably make one of the 1's really large and have a lens in it, but still…they need a new novelty for the new year. Like a hat or something. That's an innovative concept π
Justin I have blogged again… and it is all thanks to you.
Again though, I am pissing myself at your blog. You are such a dork, and I love it.
I was kind of thinking that the 1 in 2010 could act as a nose between the glasses though.
I hate to say it but you're right! What will we do without those glasses?! We're doomed!
Well, you must go to The Magic Kingdom, and you have to go on Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain Railroad, and Splash Mountain. There are so many other good rides too. Also make your way over to Hollywood Studios and ride Rockin' Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror. So fun!
I went for my school chorus. We did a 2 and a half hour workshop. π
Haha, not at all. Ronald is the guy to go to for dude advices ;).
you are right,i m tired of terrorist attacks in my country,and there is a lot of global warming and world is gona end soon
as far as i think
Leave Comment