Ba Da Ba Ba Bah, I’m Lovin’ Sh*t

In the mood for a romantic night out, my boyfriend and I headed to the local McDonalds. Yes, I know, it’s not the typical choice for a lovey-dovey evening, what with the screaming kids, greasy food, and that perverted clown who’s lovin’ it. But believe it or not, we had a blast.

Love was in the air, although it did have to compete with the aroma of fries and obese children. Nevertheless, as we dug into our food, we couldn’t help but smile and laugh. We were having a literal happy meal. Not even the Hamburglar could have robbed us of our bliss.

But then, tragedy struck.

Let me paint the scene. We were seated on those uncomfortable bench-table combos. My boyfriend was chatting away about the latest Britney Spears gossip, while I idly scanned the back of my paper placemat, which now disappointingly features nutritional facts instead of fun coloring activities. Not cool.

Suddenly, our date was interrupted by a loud noise from the side entrance. The door swung open dramatically, and in rushed a large, shirtless man with what can only be described as McGriddle-like nipples. He emitted a few grunts as he sprinted past our table, arms flailing like he was possessed by Spongebob SquarePants.

As he made a beeline for the restroom, his heavy footsteps echoed against the linoleum. With each stride, his pants drooped lower and lower, eventually revealing a not-so-attractive view of his gaping ass crack.

Once he disappeared into the bathroom, my boyfriend and I exchanged bewildered glances. At first, we were silent, but it wasn’t long before we burst into uncontrollable laughter. I mean, seriously, what on earth had just happened? Was this real life? Should we be concerned?

Once we regained our composure, my boyfriend quipped, “I wonder if he crapped himself.” I chuckled at his comment and glanced around the room, half-hoping to see others also laughing at the absurdity of it all. However, something else caught my eye first. There was something on the floor beside our table.

Curious, I leaned in for a closer look. At first, I couldn’t quite make it out, but then it hit me. Or, well, at least the smell hit me. I suddenly regretted this entire McDonalds date night. It had turned, well, shitty. Because there, right in front of us, was a small stream of poo making its way toward the restroom.

In horror, I pointed at the offending mess, letting out a whispered shriek. And then, in a high-pitched, valley girl voice, I wailed, “HE DID!!!!!”

Panic mode activated as we jumped out of our seats, dodging the unexpected obstacle course of excrement on the floor. We hurried to the counter, desperately flagging down an employee to report the situation. And you won’t believe her response: “Not again.”

At this McDonalds, she did not put a smile on.

Leave Comment

Jun 19 1:13 pm

Sorry, I know I've been gone forever but I'm finally back. I didn't have internet connection till now.

I swear you should write a book or something… Hahaha, the way you set the scene, -phew- lol.

How dare they replace the colouring page with nutritional facts.. then again in HK they never had a colouring page to begin with, so be happy you ever had one.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Oh my lord. I think I would have peed a little… hehehe… 😀

And sorry, I can't find an RSS feed for my blogs. I'm just that dumb. Maybe I don't have one? I dunno… I should. Hrm, I'll try and find out how to find it but I'm not making any promises.

Jun 19 4:31 am

The guess the movie was too hard, nobody got it lol so I just put a new one up! I also bought a new domain so I'm happy today!

Jun 18 9:35 pm

This is better then the time my friend told me that all guys have tried to give themselves a blowjob.
*Stares and giggles* ^_____^

Jun 18 4:55 pm

that is very discusting!!
well could you plase change my link on the buddies:) i got a new site!!

Jun 18 2:12 pm

That's so freaking disgusting!!

Btw, I think it's good that they are finally publishing their food's "nutritional facts". I'd much rather know how many calories and grams of fat I'm ingesting that some coloring space or whatever.

Jun 18 11:17 am

Yuck! That is just disgusting and I am glad I didn't see that.
Here's hoping it hasn't left you mentally scarred! o;

Jun 18 2:34 am

i tagged you , sorry 🙂
(mine will be up later if you see this before i put it on)
also i got a new twitter.

Jun 17 11:08 pm

The thing about this blog that saddens me extremely is the fact that the coloring area on the paper placement is GONE. :((

I wonder where that fat dude came from and how long he's been holding his crap in.

Jun 17 10:26 pm

Holy CRAP.

Jun 17 1:55 pm

LOOOOL!!!!! Hahaha, that must have been one scary and messed up 'what the fuck' moment. Haha. I wonder what was wrong with the fat hairy guy, not everyday that happens you know. But seriously that was just too funny xD

Jun 17 10:01 am

Lmao! Ewww! I was about to go eat dinner when I read that, not anymore! Don't think I'll eat anything for the rest of the day, LOL. I'm glad I didn't have to go in the bathroom after him! Sheesh.

Jun 17 6:57 am

Wtf, you saw poop on the floor? Ugh…. I think I've lost my appetite for the entire day. lol

And that man sounded gross. O.o

Jun 16 3:30 pm

That is an awesome WTF moment! It's disturbing though, that guy sounds totally creepy!

Jun 16 3:27 pm

What a beautiful moment. I bet his Momma is so proud of him..

Jun 16 8:29 am

Hello. I wanted to apologize for being off the internet scene for a bit. But, now it's Summer and I'm back.

This is also an affiliate check – thank you for keeping my link up 🙂

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