I’m not the most religious person in the world, but I grasp the basics. Love thy neighbors? Check. Love thy enemies? Sure, why not. Funny enough, those are the same people. I vaguely recall tales of a colossal ark and water that gets you drunk, but the finer points elude me. As a kid, my mom tried to indoctrinate me into Christianity. She’d lecture and threaten, hoping to steer me away from eternal damnation. I [...]
The marketing industry has its fair share of deception and bullshit. From “Do-Nothing” infomercials to self-proclaimed “Gurus,” it seems like everyone’s out to beat you up and take your lunch money. Well personally, I think it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. If people are begging you for cash, they clearly don’t know how to get rich fast. And let’s not kid ourselves about those supposed free iPhones. If time equals money, then [...]
I’m not the biggest fan of airplanes. For starters, I’m afraid of heights. I scream at the slightest hint of turbulence. I also find the cheap chairs cramped and uncomfortable. Above all else, I don’t enjoy sitting next to complete strangers who, with my luck, are frequently gassy. If someone told me I could never board a plane again, I’d happily oblige. Goodbye and good riddance! I’m perfectly content with trains, boats, or even pimped-out [...]
New Year’s Eve is the time for new beginnings. It’s the time to start fresh and forget about your mistakes. It’s the time to get your shit together. To do this, you make resolutions. Some of you plan to visit church and pray for renewed relationships with God. Others vow to make positive changes in your personal lives, like losing weight or conquering bad habits. And some of you promise to quit drinking… with a [...]
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