Shred Pounds with CHAINSAW

Millions of people around the world are bummed out by their bodies. Desperate to drop a few pounds, they end up doing more harm than good with fad diets and pricey surgeries. They care so much about how they look on the outside that they’re perfectly willing to wreak havoc on their insides.

If you’re one of these folks, then boy, do I have the product for you!

Ever dream of rocking that new bathing suit at the beach with confidence? Want to squeeze into a size four for your sister’s no-fatties-allowed wedding? Dying to enjoy amusement park rides from inside the cars?

Worry no more! Weight loss is now instant and requires little to no effort. The newest diet revolution is here. Introducing: CHAINSAW.

With CHAINSAW, all your weight woes are history. Unlike other weight loss programs, the CHAINSAW method is a breeze and doesnโ€™t demand months of dedication. Youย will shed pounds in mere seconds!

After signing up for CHAINSAW, you’ll receive a package in the mail within 2-5 business days. Once it arrives, take CHAINSAW out of the box and fire it up. Hit the ON button, and simply apply CHAINSAW to any limb of your choosing (warning: this part may get messy).

Once you’ve completed these simple steps, head to the nearest scale. Take your time and watch your stepโ€”those red puddles of “excess pounds” can be slippery. Remember, safety always comes first with CHAINSAW!

While weighing yourself, you should notice an instant difference. Heck, if you stand on the scale long enough, you might even see the pounds drop before your very eyes!

The average limb weighs 10-25 pounds, and CHAINSAW uses a patented scientific whatchamajigger to whittle that weight down to practically nothing.

So what’s the catch? How much does this miracle product cost? Well, sign up now and you’ll get the best deal in town. Most people are willing to give an arm and a leg for their dream body, and with CHAINSAW, that’s all we’re asking for!

Call now! Cut off your food addiction. Shred that unwanted body fat. Sever your ties with depression.

CHAINSAW also doubles as a toothbrush.

Leave Comment

Jan 17 8:03 pm

lol, not really ๐Ÿ˜›
matchmaker sounds really fun ๐Ÿ˜€

Jan 17 6:56 pm

Haha, that's really funny! I almost thought you were being serious! Nice blog though. Please keep up the great humor!

Jan 17 5:52 pm

I guess, haha. Coach looks more at if can jump and smash though unfortunately. ๐Ÿ™

How are youuu??


Jan 17 5:22 pm

lmaos, i ran out of space on the first column doode ๐Ÿ™‚
&& You're sexy too so don't worry o-o.

that picture almost made me crap my pants ๐Ÿ˜€

Jan 17 5:07 pm

That's a little scary.. but okay. :'|

Jan 17 4:47 pm

Haha you should try doing high jumps on the ice and acting at the same time then :). Just the jumps is hard enough :|.
I don't mean like PROPER acting, they just said a few lines here and there, but it was cool :).

LOL don't tell stupid dumb people about the chainsaw method…they might take it seriously!

Jan 17 3:54 pm

And there was me thinking I had to choose between dieting and exercise!

Jan 17 3:42 pm

Okaay I see ๐Ÿ˜€

Jan 17 3:41 pm

yea, i'd like to buy a chainsaw to use on my spanish teacher o-o.

Jan 17 2:53 pm

I'm very sorry about that. (:

Jan 17 2:23 pm


Jan 17 2:01 pm

It ok. XD

Jan 17 1:54 pm

oh all the times I wish I had one of those fast diet programs. They're all lies. lol.

well, this was amusing. haha. what on earth possessed you to write something so creative?

Jan 17 1:23 pm

LOL, I don't fall asleep straight away!!! After I've had quite a lot haha. I get drunk after like 2-3 but takes me a while till I fall asleep XD

Jan 17 1:23 pm

Peek-a-boo too? (: XD

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