A Rant of Biblical Proportions
I’m not the most religious person in the world, but I grasp the basics. Love thy neighbors? Check. Love thy enemies? Sure, why not. Funny enough, those are the same people.
I vaguely recall tales of a colossal ark and water that gets you drunk, but the finer points elude me. As a kid, my mom tried to indoctrinate me into Christianity. She’d lecture and threaten, hoping to steer me away from eternal damnation. I can’t blame her, though, for trying to literally scare the hell out of me.
I studied religion through hell and high water, but ultimately, it just wasn’t my cup of wine. There’s only one occasion in which I still see The Good Book, and no, it’s not at church. I’m talking, of course, about on vacations.
Which brings me to my rant of biblical proportions. Let’s talk about this bizarre tradition of finding Bibles in hotel drawers. Why in God’s name (ha) do they do that? Why prioritize scripture over, say, decent pillows? I have a couple of theories.
- Hypothesis #1: Hotels are playing the guilt card. They’re trying to scare us with good morals; figuring we’ll think twice before stealing their crummy towels, soaps, pens, shampoos, sheets, televisions, beds, windows, and even employees.
Sorry, but it doesn’t work. We’re all guilty of swiping a towel or two, and the Bible isn’t about to change that. Heck, it’s part of my unofficial travel guidebook. Besides, most people who check into motel rooms are already committed to doing something naughty.
- Hypothesis #2: It’s all about the money. Religious groups are cozying up with hotels to turn a profit.
Since God doesn’t pay priests until the afterlife, perhaps they’ve resorted to second shifts in the motel lobby. No longer do they live on donations placed in smelly straw hats. And brace yourselves, because this is likely only the beginning. Soon we’ll be checking into hotels like Saint Hyatt and Our Lady of Hilton.
Regardless of the motive, this practice feels problematic. It’s not politically correct. What about other religious books? Where are the Torahs? Where are the Qurans? Where are my unofficial travel guidebooks?
I suppose there are bigger fish to fry, but it’s still worth noting. With separation of church and state, and separation of church and school, there’s not really much time left for separation of church and bedside table.
113 Comments
Pam
LOL. You're totally right.
I don't know if I've ever thought about it that much, but now that I am, I agree!
Isn't that like.. racist or something? What about the people that aren't christian? Like you say, wheres the Quaran etc?
I can't wait to read your "Official Guide To Travelling" haha. 😛
Carissa
Your site is so funny. XD Thanks for the compliment on mine! ;D
Ha, I wouldn't call myself an "expert" at easter egg hunts. 😉 It took me forever to find the one on Lien's site, haha. I'm just so darn eager for the reward at the end!
Thuyy
Haha…darn.
I'm great, thank-you very much. (:
What about you?
Lemme guess, fine. Okay. Or great. Or something like that. What's the point of even asking that question? Everyone just says the same thing. =/
Delilah
EWS…
It's cutenews !! 😛
But anyways, thanks for the comment (:
Janet
I know, right? TOTALLY epic writing a blog about a blog. xD
Wow, really? I've never opened a hotel drawer and see a bible. O.O
Sophia
I actually hate brocolli, have tasted it, but never liked it.
I love chicken so
Anna
I know, I am so excited! xD
Yeah we are not fighting anymore but we always have fights so it's not that big of a deal 😛
Allie
LMAO. Separation of church and bedside table?! I love your blogs. 🙂 But it IS unfair that they only have bibles. They should have things related to other religions, but I suppose that then there would be too many things. xD
Haha, I can't wait to see your Official Travel Guidebook once it's published! 😛
Hehe. I refreshed until I saw my name under buddies, and that took me like 7 tries. >.<
Jay
we've all been guilty of stealing a couple (or a lot) of items from hotels 🙂 although i think that conclusion is head on, if i were the manager of the hotel, i'd make the bible more prominent. like write the freaking scriptures on the walls or something 😛 i won't allow my guests ahem-criminals-ahem to jack my stuff. haha!
it's clear that the bibles hidden in the drawers aren't there for the super religious persons. i mean, if you're that religious, you'd certainly bring a spare bible with you.
oh well, the theories behind the hotel room bibles are infinite.
religion and politics will never go hand in hand.it's hard to believe that they'll ever find peace between each other.
on another, less controversial note, i'd love to be affiliates 😀 just get back to me if you're still up for it, and i'll add you!
Aimee
Oh I know!! I hate that! Its like what if someone doesn't believe in the bible? Plus it annoys me how much they push religion down our throats. Ugh
Chris
lmao ikr (:
lol about hotel bibles 😛
I like your first conclusion lmao they want us to feel the "guilt" ahhaha
what about those non-christian/catholic people? for sure they break all the ruless lmao
Swetlana
Nah, it really wasn't that bad. That thingy was like a finger width away from my eye. No needs to worry 🙂
Kari
Ah, religion. Religion is so complicated! I remember the Bibles at hotel rooms though, haha. I feel like they're like discriminating, too! It's like Christianity isn't the only religion out there. And then in school it's like teachers ask you questions about Christianity but I'm not Christian so I don't know anything. Sorryyy for being absorbed in my own beliefs.
Maybe they are in it for the profits. :O DUN DUN DUN
Camila
haha sorry about that! (I knew the Israel thing was weird! :P)
And I'm just curious..was that comment a joke or are you really having tacos tonight? haha 🙂
Yes! definitely try to get your boyfriend to bake it for you..or any cake, really. I actually made it more for my boyfriend. anyway, it'll be a lot better than McDonald's and a half-naked man with bathroom problems 🙂
Regina
To be honest, I've never opened any drawers in any hotel rooms that I've stayed in. I don't take time to explore my room; I usually just throw myself onto the bed and fall asleep right away. 😛
And I'm feeling much better, thanks 🙂
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