Loo and Behold: Potty Productivity
I was in the middle of watching “Yo Gabba Gabba” – totally normal for an adult, right? – when suddenly, nature called. Furious, I stomped off to the bathroom, begrudgingly abandoning my dancing puppet pals and lamenting the next 15 minutes I’d never get back.
Bathroom breaks are the worst. Why can’t our bodies be more efficient? Birds can poop in two seconds, and it even helps them fly! Human bodies are backwards; birds have to poop in order to move, but humans have to move in order to poop.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, I had forgotten my phone. How was I going to survive sitting there with no technology? Alone with my thoughts? No thanks.
Desperate to avoid boredom, I started analyzing the shower curtain, playing “spot the pattern” with the floor tiles, and even reading the back of a shampoo bottle. (Did you know shampoo has calories? Me neither.)
I don’t know what I would have done without that bottle. All bathrooms should have one. I bet that’s why it’s called shampoo.
Do you find yourself doing the same silly activities on the toilet? I can’t be the only one. I mean, we spend about a year and a half of our lives in the bathroom, and I doubt anyone just sits there like a potty zombie the whole time.
It’s like our brains have evolved to find excitement in the dumbest things as soon as our butts hit the seat. We’re compelled to do something – anything – while we’re in there. Maybe bathroom breaks are our cure for procrastination.
I’ve found myself blowing my nose, reading a book, checking emails, texting, tweeting, studying for exams, meditating, and even doing a phone interview. (I almost got the job until the motion sensor made the toilet flush mid-conversation.)
Come to think of it, maybe the human body is pretty efficient after all. Bathroom breaks might seem like a “big waste” of time, but they are actually super productive.
After all, guess where I wrote this post?
52 Comments
Tiff K
HAHAHA LOVELY POST! Oh gosh i love your theory on going to the bathroom as a cure for procrastination. BRILLIANT! hahaha. I actually use my bathroom time for reading XD I especially remember how the bathroom became my comfort zone (coz i don't have my own room) and that's where I read until the wee hours in the morning XD Of course I finished pooping already XD It's just that I liked to stay there and read. Okay LOL XD
I am linking you back! GREAT NEW DESIGN! 😀
Hyeoni
Hello there Justin! Nice to meet you. 🙂
If you spend 10-15 minutes on the toilet…then there is something wrong. It should be like 2-5 minutes. I one time ate only fruits and veggies for a few weeks and ALL of my stool came out in 5 seconds and I was done wiping in a minute. Sorry to be so graphic. Needless to say it was the most satisfying number 2 I ever did in my life. But I reverted back to my original diet and unless I'm constipating…It's usually only 5 minutes max in the bathroom. My brother eats like crap and he STILL manages to come out under a minute…what the heck? Maybe more fruit and veggie fiber and more water for bulky but looose stool so it comes out in a jiffy! 😉
Deanna
Haha, welcome back. I personally don't take long in the bathroom unless I'm sick. And I can't do anything else while using the washroom or it won't work. My bodys like, "Hey stop doing that and pay attention to the job at hand!"…Anyway, to answer some of your questions from my blog, I nominated you because I was running out of bloggers that I like and you were one that I always enjoyed reading. I eat vegetables to make Winston happy. Also I want to be able to say, "no I don't like that food" with confidence instead of saying "I tried that when I was five and it was yucky." I have found that I do actually like food now that I thought I didn't like because I think most of my not liking food was a mental thing. In my mind I told myself that it looked bad or smelled bad and therefore was bad. I also started eating more foods because when I went over to Winston's house where his parents made supper, they would give me things I've never had or didn't like and I didn't want to be like "I'm not eating that" so I would just eat it anyway. Finally, on the hair topic. I've always loved red hair. I don't know why. But I am too scared to dye it red right now. I live with the mentality that if it's not broken, don't fix it, and right now I like my hair color. But if I no longer like the way my hair looks, aka. when it goes grey, I will be brave enough to dye it a different color. How do your blogs always make me want to post an entire blog post for a comment? haha. Sorry about that.
Daniel Carton
Hey Justin,
I like your style. Funny and to the point.
I read the back of my deodorant the other day and found out it's based on precious woods, who'd have known 🙂 lol.
Cool post,
Daniel Carton
Nyuu
I sense that you get a lot of wonderful ideas for your blog posts while you're doing your business lol
I think the same way. I think it's annoying that the human body needs to dispose of waste… I even ranted about this to my friend and she replied that humans need to dispose of these things to make space. My reply: bollocks! The human body is flawed!
I dislike needing to use the toilet, it's a waste of my time. I actually cannot even read a book while I'm on it because I find that just sitting there is already very uncomfortable.
But I guess some people enjoy the "break"
Paul Conway
Hey Justin
Firstly great post 🙂
Seconly: Yuk…re writing the post whilst on the loo having a poo 😉
Cheers
Paul
Dylan
Hey Justin! Great post and blog! I really like the feel and layout. Plus you talk about anything and everything, as evidenced by this excellent post on poop. Good show, old bean! Consider me a fan.
Angelica
I have a magazine at the bathroom. When I've forgot to put a new magazine in there I've also found myself reading the text on shampoo bottles, hair spray bottles and whatever I can find.
Nancy
Welcome back from that 1 year break from blogging! It's been a long while, Justin :c.
I suppose it's meant for humans to move in order to poop. I mean, you could poop where ever you are, but that's not acceptable for society… compared to birds, you can't really control where they're supposed to poop at. This is all confusing '~'.
Not much people really talk about what they do during the time they're in the crapper. If you manage to find something to do (which you did), you're taking advantage of every moment possible in life. That's more effective than anything else :P.
That's true about the Avengers; there's too many building scenes, but it's worth the outcome. I still liked it regardless.
I play around 10 instruments, give or take. But my main instruments are clarinet, bass clarinet, tenor saxophone, and at the very least, trumpet.
Take care (:
Clarisse
Normally, I don't really have time to do much on the toilet…sometimes I bring my Kindle or a magazine in with me, but I barely ever get to read any of them.
When I do, though, I sometimes end up staying in there too long…
It's strange that you found me again, since I actually remember going to your blog a couple of times before to return comments, probably from my old blog from a couple of years ago. A blog name like this is hard to forget, haha.
Dorine
High-five! Glad to know I'm not "abnormal", then. I often read in the toilet because I love reading and, well, I'm obviously not going to spend the time staring into space. Sometimes I bring my phone into the washroom and play some games, then end up staying there longer than I'm supposed to. :/
John
Sadly, the older I get the more bathroom breaks I need to take. Thank God for good smartphone reception! Words with Friends is a great time killer while letting nature take its course!
Fahi
*still laughing out loud while writing my comment* Omg I truly understand you, I feel so lonely on the toilet. Usually I listen to music or read books. Anyway just want to say thank for the comment you had left on my blog and I truly love yours. Especially the whole changing colour of the layouts.Amazing. Oh and I am absolutely following on twitter!!!!
Cindy
I actually use this time to catch up on some reading on my Kindle. I get so mad when people knock on the door telling me to hurry up. They obviously have not yet understood the beauty of the quietness that the toilet provides us with.. However, do you think you'd still feel the same in an outhouse? I'm pretty sure you'd have to entertain yourself by squatting and swapping flies from getting too close to your behind. (Personal experience in Africa) LOL.
Holly
I think I must be really quick in the toilet haha! I rarely ever have time to play around with my phone. I usually look at the tiles on the bathroom wall for some odd reason. One time I noticed that they weren't on straight.
Thank you for your lovely comment. 🙂 I'm so happy to know that my new layout is a success.
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