Textpectations vs. Reality
The cellphone has been saving us from awkward situations since 1973.
Picture this: you’re stumbling back to your dorm after one of those wild, rom-com-worthy parties where every decision was a bad decision. Mid-stumble, you spot Ted—the creepy guy from the party who, in your drunken haze, seemed kiss-worthy. Now, he looks more like a disaster, and for some inexplicable reason, he smells like kitten poop. Why? Just because.
Enter the cellphone, your savior. With a quick flick of the wrist, you’re suddenly engrossed in an imaginary urgent text, breezing past Ted like he’s invisible.
Don’t pretend you haven’t done it. We all lean on our cellphones to dodge these cringe-inducing encounters. I’ve got it down to an art. Usually, I type out fake texts to whoever I’m trying to avoid. This way, my fingers’ movements look authentic.
The text will say something like, “Hey Rebecca, I don’t want to stop and talk to you, because you never shut up, and last time I stopped, you made me late to class, because you spent twenty five minutes talking about how your throat hurts, which is kind of ironic, and, oh, great, I made it past you.”
It’s a genius idea until you accidentally send one.
Cellphones also let us say what’s on our minds without the awkward face-to-face encounters. I mean, it’s so much easier to tell someone their chin looks like a butt when you’re safely at home, miles away from their fist, which also looks like a butt.
Additionally, cellphones give us the guts to be annoying. Pre-cellphone era, I couldn’t wander into a store and talk to myself without looking like a nutcase. Now, I can jabber away, thanks to my trusty Bluetooth earpiece, and nobody bats an eye.
But I do have to draw the line somewhere. Let’s be real—it’s not cool to blame cellphones for car accidents. Seriously, folks, put the phone down when you’re driving. You’re driving a car, not a telephone booth. And while we’re on the subject, it’s not a beauty parlor or restaurant, either.
Sure, cellphones help dodge awkward moments, but they can create a few, too. Sometimes, I end up texting someone, even though I don’t want to, just because they won’t stop texting me first.
Fortunately, every texting marathon ends the same way: a message that screams, “This conversation is over. I’m off to do something interesting now.”
45 Comments
Gabi
I've never fake texted someone when I want to avoid contact. That's probably because I'm still in high school and I can't just whip out my phone in the hallways and text people. I have accidentally texted awkward things to the wrong person, though. The response is always a hoot.
And seriously, bluetooths (or would it be blueteeth?) are the worst. If you want to to look like a douchebag, all you have to do is wear one of those around. They make people look like they're talking to themselves in cars. How embarrassing.
I still like cell phones, though. Since I'm ridiculously awkward in social situations, texting is pretty handy. I like the idea that a person doesn't necessarily have to have their phone on them to get a message.
Shanelle
Ha! I've done that. There's this guy that comes into our university center to solicit all the time and he has this weird obsession with talking to us because we're always in there. It's become slightly obvious when we all pull out our cell phones at the same time and are suddenly all talking or texting someone… xD
Gel
Your entries are always fun to read. Haha. Yup ive done that several times before.. pretending to text someone or talk to someone on the phone just to avoid an extra awkward situation. Works everytime :p I love my phone! Hahaha. I'm back in the blogosphere, btw. Hope you still remember me 🙂
Aashni
Haha. You're back! FINALLY! lol
I hope everything's been going well for you 🙂
and haha at your blog! Cell phones. what would we do without you? when i pass people I don't wanna talk to, I just feign the whole, I'm blind thing if they ask me – I really am.. i can't see people's facial features even if they're 2 m away from me… so it's a very believable excuse 🙂
as for phones – i prefer texting than talking. because texting last longer, and (with the plan I have) is cheaper. so if I'm talking to a friend over a day, then it lasts the whole day.. it also gives you the freedom to not reply to awkward messages etc. straight away, as you would have to if you were talking on the phone instead.
as for awkward moments when texting.. if it's someone I really don't want to talk to, I might humor them for a few minutes, replying to their text, then claim I have to go for some family function, am at the movies, am doing homework, or that I'm eating… these all work wonderfully 🙂 haha
Webbielady
The dangers of technology…and the thing about driving and talking in mobile phones… or using mobilephones and then drive… that's so difficult.
Headsets as cure? That's so interesting…maybe that would function…why not?
Kate Kutny
Justin, I agree people feel they can get away with texting whatever they want when they are miles away. People do the same thing on Twitter all the time as well. It's funny what people say. Its like people don't care much about their privacy anymore and are not afraid to speak up as well.
Simone
Whenever I'm nervous or something I pull out my cell phone and pretend to being doing something when I'm really just flipping through my home screens.
When I see someone I don't want to see or I want someone to notice my first I do the exact same thing. I couldn't ever fake a text message though because I just know at the end I'd end up sending it.
Thats been happening a lot lately. I could be trying to text someone about someone else but since I'm thinking about that someone I end up sending it to them. I really should try working on that before I end up sending something that would ruin my life or something.
My cell phone gives me courage because I can say things to people that I'd never say in person. Its all find and dandy til they see you the next day asking, "So what's that crap you were talking on the phone?"
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Holly
If I walk past a person I don't want to make eye contact with I always pull out my phone and pretend to do something important. I usually just flick between home screens or open and close the apps section.
I hate it when someone keeps texting me constantly asking me questions about my life because we haven't seen each other in months. I always use the excuse "I'm running out of credit. This is the last text I can send." It always works. 🙂
Isi
Technically it was stolen because someone saw a guy stealing it and took it from him, it's a complicated process lol.
Yeah we have one year life and it's normal for us to do something like that lol. Last year there was at least 3 food fights, one egg fight, and one water balloon fight. 2012 is crazy lol.
Thank you, I cannot wait to wear them lol.
I'm weird with cell phones, i hate calling people but i love texting them. 😀 Cell phones also help when you're in a room all awkward with people having convos and you're not. With the phone you can you pretend you're texting someone when you're actually not lol.
Jenna
Thanks for the comment on my site! 🙂 Eve 6 were a mainstream band in the mid 90's they sang a song called Inside Out. Haha pretty good.
I am the opposite with my cell phone it makes awkward situations mostly with my family easier. However I do see your point here haha.
By the way I love your domain name it made me laugh 🙂
Liz
A lot of people <em>do</em> use their cell phones for many things.
I've used mine before after classes or whatever to pretend like I have a life away from school.
… Something not many people at my college have.
Chelsey
Haha this blog post made me laugh! I couldn't agree with you more!
I remember back in middle school, I had a "dinosaur" cell phone. It was so old that I was too embarrassed to pull it out. I never even picked up so my parents got me a new phone.
I fake text in awkward situations as well. Honestly, I think everybody who has a phone does xD I remember walking home one day and I passed by a lady who was talking on her phone like she had something important to say to the receiver … until her phone rang. That must have been so embarrassing.
I'm not a very fast responder when it comes to texting, so thankfully, when I get in awkward situations, I just ignore the text for a couple of hours and then write back, "Sorry, I was busy!"
Lean
Haha, I don't have a cellphone yet, so I'm missing out on these. 😛
I guess I'd use my cellphone for like when I'm alone and it's awkward and I don't want to look like a loner so I'd go and use the cellphone to pretend to make a call. 😛
Cellphones do make situations more awkward, sometimes when I'm walking with my friend I'm telling a story then she pulls out her phone and texts someone and I don't even notice so it's like awkss… haha. 😛
Or when they use like bluetooths or whatever they're called, you'd think somebody was talking to you but actually they're talking to a person on the phone. Haha 😛
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Haha, I don't think they really represent anything. I just took my camera and started making textures with my camera with my living room light haha 😛
Kate
Well yes, he is pretty adorable 🙂 He actually stood on my hand for more than 5 seconds yesterday. :') And luckily his doo-doo's are only small… for now…
That's quite the possibility 😛 I guess it all started when one dog didn't like me and ever since then I haven't liked dogs.
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To be honest I don't even have a mobile. I lost mine two years ago and couldn't be fucked replacing it. They really do piss me off, mainly because you see this year 8 – 10's on their phone every other second like it's their life. It's sad that they've been sort of brought up like that.
But yes when I did have my mobile I used to fake text people as well, or call them. I'm pretty sure they saw through me but I don't really care because I hated most of them anyway >_<
So are you saying you've actually sent one of those text messages?
When I see people on the phone while they're driving, it makes me angry. It causes so much car accidents and deaths. ;_; I'm a little bit serious on this topic as I watched this presentation on car accidents and it was so moving and scary I vowed never to take my attention span away while driving a car – that is if I ever get my license.
The last paragraph you wrote it a little like on facebook chat as well. Someone talks to you that you don't like and don't want to talk to, and you've made it obvious you don't and they keep going. Luckily you can just pop offline, but with mobiles is a little different. 😛
By the way, I don't know if you remember me but I used to own Ohdazzle.simplybroken.org (or something like that) and we used to talk a bit on that 😛 I used to read your blogs all the time… they're so interesting. 🙂
Love Kate.
Jenny
I believe the most awkward thing about cellphones are the people who uses headsets and when they talk, you think that they're talking to you. Wow, I can remember one time I thought someone was talking to me because of that. It's more than awkward- downright embarrassing. 🙁
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