Textpectations vs. Reality
The cellphone has been saving us from awkward situations since 1973.
Picture this: you’re stumbling back to your dorm after one of those wild, rom-com-worthy parties where every decision was a bad decision. Mid-stumble, you spot Ted—the creepy guy from the party who, in your drunken haze, seemed kiss-worthy. Now, he looks more like a disaster, and for some inexplicable reason, he smells like kitten poop. Why? Just because.
Enter the cellphone, your savior. With a quick flick of the wrist, you’re suddenly engrossed in an imaginary urgent text, breezing past Ted like he’s invisible.
Don’t pretend you haven’t done it. We all lean on our cellphones to dodge these cringe-inducing encounters. I’ve got it down to an art. Usually, I type out fake texts to whoever I’m trying to avoid. This way, my fingers’ movements look authentic.
The text will say something like, “Hey Rebecca, I don’t want to stop and talk to you, because you never shut up, and last time I stopped, you made me late to class, because you spent twenty five minutes talking about how your throat hurts, which is kind of ironic, and, oh, great, I made it past you.”
It’s a genius idea until you accidentally send one.
Cellphones also let us say what’s on our minds without the awkward face-to-face encounters. I mean, it’s so much easier to tell someone their chin looks like a butt when you’re safely at home, miles away from their fist, which also looks like a butt.
Additionally, cellphones give us the guts to be annoying. Pre-cellphone era, I couldn’t wander into a store and talk to myself without looking like a nutcase. Now, I can jabber away, thanks to my trusty Bluetooth earpiece, and nobody bats an eye.
But I do have to draw the line somewhere. Let’s be real—it’s not cool to blame cellphones for car accidents. Seriously, folks, put the phone down when you’re driving. You’re driving a car, not a telephone booth. And while we’re on the subject, it’s not a beauty parlor or restaurant, either.
Sure, cellphones help dodge awkward moments, but they can create a few, too. Sometimes, I end up texting someone, even though I don’t want to, just because they won’t stop texting me first.
Fortunately, every texting marathon ends the same way: a message that screams, “This conversation is over. I’m off to do something interesting now.”
45 Comments
Kimmy
XD I love how you can read between the lines. We all do these things and pretend not to. I’ve used the, can’t-talk-now, while waiting for the bus. Cell phones do come in handy. I sometimes dread texting certain people because I know it takes forever for them to stop. Texting is for quick messages. If I wanted a long conversation then I would have called or met with them in person. That sounds mean, but I can’t help but see it that way.
Matt Harvath
I am seriously thinking of getting rid of my cell phone (or at least using it just for work!) I am sick of everyone texting, playing games and generally not paying attention to anything but their phones! Society is in big trouble!
HeelShields
Funny – Some people you just have to let know that you don't have unlimited texting and they either have to stop texting or pay for unlimited – works every time.
The Nerdy Nurse
OH gosh. I LOVE your blog design and your concept!
Incredibly witty, fun, and entertaining.
Two thumbs to the sky!
btw, found you on linkedin.
isn't that funny?
Kitty
Thank God for cellphones. I hardly can go anywhere without it. Believe me I even have it with me when I shower. XD
But of course let's not forget the awkward moments that can happen because of it. I remembered accidentally sending a text to my mom that was actually meant for my boyfriend. THAT was an embarrassment.
Best thing about cellphones, like emails, is that I can communicate with the person on the other end without needing to look at them face to face. That way, even if you piss them off (or vice versa), you can't see their facial expressions! LOL!
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Thank you! I do try to make the header design as crafty as possible. XD
Angelica
When bluetooth headsets started becoming popular a friend of mine first thought: weird, theres a lot of schizophrenic people around these days.
Speaking of cell phones, have you ever had someone you just gave your number call you while youre still standing in front of the person, to check you actually gave the person your real number? Now thats awkward. For them. Like seriously? Who does that?
You asked about nickel allergy. You can get it if youre exposed to jewelery with nickel in for a long period of time. For me Ive been wearing jewelery which apparently had nickel in them for years. I believe nickel allergy is the most common allergy in the world. Its everywhere. In buttons on jeans, money, jewelery.
My titanium earrings are more pricey but worth the price. Titanium is the metal used in bone screws and stuff since its the metal the body accepts the most and is the last allergenic.
Sindara
I love your layout babe, especially the epic color change!
Tell you the truth I hardly ever use my phone unless I absolutely need it.
I hate those headsets, some woman was behind me somewhere and I living in a small town where those are not used, thought she was talking to me when she said excuse me. I said sorry and moved out of her way. As she walked past she gave me a mean look and said something like, some girl thought I was talking to her and started to laugh. I was so embarrassed. This was all in Cincinnati.
How have you been hun?
Shannon
lmao! I try to avoid giving out my phone number as much as possible but it seems that people can be rather persistent. Sometimes people just become uninteresting after a while. I have a tendency to ignore texts too, even if it's completely rude. After a while they get the point… sometimes.
BEBE
hahaha.. this is a nice post Justin! I enjoyed reading it. And yes I agree.. cellphones can give people something to blame about.. but it never happened to me as far as I'm concerned. 🙂
I'm really thankful because of these cellphones. It makes communication a lot easier than it was years ago. I tried doing the snail mail thing where you have to wait for days or worst weeks just to get the message you're waiting for. hahaha.. but now, with cellphone you don't have to wait that long anymore. 🙂
Kerry
Oh god, my mobile has definitely saved me on more than one occasion. I live in a block of flats that has a courtyard I have to walk through to get out. There's always a person sat in there smoking who I don't like, so I pretend to be texting as I walk by to avoid eye contact. It just makes it less awkward as I try and sneak past.
It kind of annoys me when people use texts to address something that they wouldn't dare speak about in person. I mean, if they don't feel that they can say something to your face, why say it through a phone.. it's like a weird protection barrier, I guess.
Julia
Hey Justin!
LOL, I know. XD But I think wearing my gown would be a little too much. Haha
Oh, well don't worry, you are not alone. I remember how retarded my notebooks were before. The Powerpuff GIrls were the bomb back then.
Eep, never! Honestly, my drawings look like shit.
And of course, LadyGaga4Layfe!
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OMG, I totally get you there. I fake text too, but I just press random buttons, because I'm afraid that I really MIGHT send the message!
Gem
Omg that last bit kills me the most. I have one friend who will not shut up ever. I start giving one word responses and SHE STILL KEEPS GOING! Like seriously? Does she think I will always have time for some stupid conversation about whatever stupid self-involved thing she wants to talk about? UGH.
Mel
hahaha! tooooo funny! if i did that i would accidentally send the messages too often, so i will opt out of that! lmao.
and thanks, eh, really i am just taking it one day at a time, hopefully i will find a job soon enough, and then things will really just fall in place. as for the new charger, all i can do is hope i get one soon, but for now i will just have to use my SLOW PC. haha.
btw, i'm in LOVE with your site.
Angie
LOL at fake texting. I can never imagine myself doing that besides its kind of fun to just tell the person straight to the face the things that you would like to say.
Anyway, technology really has its own pros and cons.
Lizette
I've had to text someone I didn't want to text, only to get her to shut up about her favorite middle aged boyband. She's so obsessed, she makes my cell phone depressed! The things that woman writes would make your hair stand on end, and at the end of the day, you wish you could push her down a flight of stairs. Being the nice person that I am, it only works best within imagination. Cellphones are useful in emergency, they should never be even considered to be in use while driving. Which brings me to my next point, the same woman that loves her middle aged boyband, also has this habit of using the cell phone, and texting while driving! *imagines the "accidental" push down the stairs*
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