A Rant of Biblical Proportions
I’m not the most religious person in the world, but I grasp the basics. Love thy neighbors? Check. Love thy enemies? Sure, why not. Funny enough, those are the same people.
I vaguely recall tales of a colossal ark and water that gets you drunk, but the finer points elude me. As a kid, my mom tried to indoctrinate me into Christianity. She’d lecture and threaten, hoping to steer me away from eternal damnation. I can’t blame her, though, for trying to literally scare the hell out of me.
I studied religion through hell and high water, but ultimately, it just wasn’t my cup of wine. There’s only one occasion in which I still see The Good Book, and no, it’s not at church. I’m talking, of course, about on vacations.
Which brings me to my rant of biblical proportions. Let’s talk about this bizarre tradition of finding Bibles in hotel drawers. Why in God’s name (ha) do they do that? Why prioritize scripture over, say, decent pillows? I have a couple of theories.
- Hypothesis #1: Hotels are playing the guilt card. They’re trying to scare us with good morals; figuring we’ll think twice before stealing their crummy towels, soaps, pens, shampoos, sheets, televisions, beds, windows, and even employees.
Sorry, but it doesn’t work. We’re all guilty of swiping a towel or two, and the Bible isn’t about to change that. Heck, it’s part of my unofficial travel guidebook. Besides, most people who check into motel rooms are already committed to doing something naughty.
- Hypothesis #2: It’s all about the money. Religious groups are cozying up with hotels to turn a profit.
Since God doesn’t pay priests until the afterlife, perhaps they’ve resorted to second shifts in the motel lobby. No longer do they live on donations placed in smelly straw hats. And brace yourselves, because this is likely only the beginning. Soon we’ll be checking into hotels like Saint Hyatt and Our Lady of Hilton.
Regardless of the motive, this practice feels problematic. It’s not politically correct. What about other religious books? Where are the Torahs? Where are the Qurans? Where are my unofficial travel guidebooks?
I suppose there are bigger fish to fry, but it’s still worth noting. With separation of church and state, and separation of church and school, there’s not really much time left for separation of church and bedside table.
113 Comments
Do
ohh yeah LMAO. when I went to toronto there was a bible in our hotel room and me and my friends just started look at it.. i mean like.. we're not really religious at all.. but we knew what that was xD hehe.
Gillian
What the effing shit. I wrote this massive comment and then it deleted itself. SHIT FUCK. Ok, I'll calmly retype it. 🙂
Anyways, about Ryan.. yeah I told him about the site today. 😀 He raped my comments lmao. And I'm on the phone with him right now taking him through step by step on how to write a WP blog. Cause he's going to be the co-owner. 🙂
He's such a newb though.. wows.
Anyways, LMFAO your blogs are always a crack up.
Although, I've never understood the whole bible in hotel drawer concept either. I definitely see truth in your reasons as to why they're there. xD
And you're so damn right. IT IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT. Why aren't you the president yet? ..
Btw, that's hilarious how your neighbors and enemies are the same people.
Ely
Haha I like very much your layout and these funny symbols like toilet paper <3 Your website is very nice !
Greg
Yes i do find MacDonalds exciting! haha
Nice blog, very humorous but confusing Lmfao!
I cant wait for the official travel guidebook (:
So how are you?
Going anywhere nice in the holidayss 😀
I am going to Italy on friday *yay*
Toodles!
Thuyy
PSH
YOU? bother ME? ha!
well…just a little bit…=/
haha jkjk
Sean
Well…seeing as though everyone really wants to read your Official Travel Guidebook…. you and I need to start going on trips a LOT more for product research. Yes? YES!
I like this post. Its something I have always wondered about. Once the names change to Saint Hyatt and Our Lady Hilton, etc….what would the cheap Motels be called? Just wondering. Would they be like the southern Baptist of the bunch?
Mom
Justin,
We're having tacos tonight!
Love,
Mom
Dontravious
well I never been to a hotel room and yeah everyone know when someone check into a hotel room they're not only staying there they're rocking the bed lol
Thuyy
LOL I have too wondered about those bibles in the drawers of hotel rooms…but then I'd forget all about them and do other stuff. XD
Only you would write a blog about bibles being in the drawers of hotel rooms, Justin! haha. ><
You better write an official travel guidebook! It'd be so hilarious. XD
Sage
It's funny, I've often wondered the same thing. The only thing that I could come up with was that a lot of the time, people check into hotels to escape from home and relax (believe it or not). I have done this in the past to get away from home. What better way to get people to read the Bible than to get them to read it when they're the most relaxed? At least, that's my theory anyway. You theories are very valid though, especially the guilt theory lol
Jhase
Well I don't think I ever paid attention to the fact that there was a bible in the night stand. Mostly because I overlook such tedious things that hold no importance to me when I'm about to watch some….moving on, um but you're right. It doesn't hold a point and seems, to me, to degrade the value of religion even more so that it already is.
Not a religious person myself, but the bible in a night stand just seems rude.
Now about this Official Travel Guidebook…Will there be pictures?
Nnie
haha I always find bibles in the drawers of hotel rooms. In my country, we can find Qurans there too, near the Bibles 🙂
Vincent
Lol I totally agree with you. To be honest I think I'd have to go with your first conclusion. Your an amazing writer, you should totally come up with a Justin's Official Travel Guidebook.
Vincent
FIRST COMMENT.
sorry had to do that (:
I vill now read your blog
Kayee
Heyy!
Thanks for your comment 😀
OMG I would love to be affies with you!! Haha. Your site is so cool! I LOVE the site name as well 😉 Very unique and made me lol 😛
LOL @ your blog post xD I would love to read your "Official Travel Guidebook". Hehe. I never lived in a hotel when I'm on holiday I stay round my relatives house for some weird reason I go on holiday everytime xD
Leave Comment