Category: Wordplay

Closet Talk: Your Clothes Aren’t Gay

Oh, that’s gay. That’s sooo gay. That’s like, totes uber gay. Ugh. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that awful phrase… uber. Okay, obviously I’m joking. My real gripe is with the word “gay” – a word that represents me – being used to express dislike and hate. I hear so many things called gay: homework, exams, traffic… One time, I even heard a girl say, “My mom and dad are [...]

A Tired Sole: My Stroll into Insanity

Walking is so overrated. There, I said it. If I had my way, I’d rather travel from point A to point B by being catapulted on fire. Walking makes my legs sore and lethargic. I hate it so much that when it’s time for a stroll, I have to do it super early in the morning before my brain catches on. If I could sleepwalk on command, I’d be all over that. I don’t care [...]

Hip Hop Hounds: Word to Your Puppy

Rap music is dead. Once a genre I cherished, today’s tracks resemble the agonizing yowls of kittens in peril. The lyrics lack inspiration, the vocals mimic malfunctioning robots, and the rhymes wouldn’t impress a kindergarten class. Yet, the real head-scratcher? The bizarre background noises. Some rappers seem to believe a song isn’t complete without a chorus of “yeahs” and “whats,” or, in some cases, literal barking. Yes, barking. Why? Do they fancy themselves as canines? [...]

You’re So Stupid, You’re Smart

When I was in grade school, a self-proclaimed health guru swung by my classroom to teach me about nutrition. His golden nugget of wisdom? “You are what you eat.” Cue my horror. I sprinted home, darted under the bed, and wailed like a three-year old girl, “I don’t want to be a cheeseburger!” Fortunately, my nipples never turned into pickles. Although he lied, the lecturer’s words continued to shape my eating habits. I always thought [...]
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