Loo and Behold: Potty Productivity

I was in the middle of watching “Yo Gabba Gabba” – totally normal for an adult, right? – when suddenly, nature called. Furious, I stomped off to the bathroom, begrudgingly abandoning my dancing puppet pals and lamenting the next 15 minutes I’d never get back.

Bathroom breaks are the worst. Why can’t our bodies be more efficient? Birds can poop in two seconds, and it even helps them fly! Human bodies are backwards; birds have to poop in order to move, but humans have to move in order to poop.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I had forgotten my phone. How was I going to survive sitting there with no technology? Alone with my thoughts? No thanks.

Desperate to avoid boredom, I started analyzing the shower curtain, playing “spot the pattern” with the floor tiles, and even reading the back of a shampoo bottle. (Did you know shampoo has calories? Me neither.)

I don’t know what I would have done without that bottle. All bathrooms should have one. I bet that’s why it’s called shampoo.

Do you find yourself doing the same silly activities on the toilet? I can’t be the only one. I mean, we spend about a year and a half of our lives in the bathroom, and I doubt anyone just sits there like a potty zombie the whole time.

It’s like our brains have evolved to find excitement in the dumbest things as soon as our butts hit the seat. We’re compelled to do something – anything – while we’re in there. Maybe bathroom breaks are our cure for procrastination.

I’ve found myself blowing my nose, reading a book, checking emails, texting, tweeting, studying for exams, meditating, and even doing a phone interview. (I almost got the job until the motion sensor made the toilet flush mid-conversation.)

Come to think of it, maybe the human body is pretty efficient after all. Bathroom breaks might seem like a “big waste” of time, but they are actually super productive.

After all, guess where I wrote this post?

Leave Comment

52 Comments
Cheeto
Nov 09 4:57 pm

And toilets hide weed!


George
Jul 07 8:09 am

hilarious !!
That made me laugh a little


Matt Harvath
Jun 19 7:04 am

Nice Blog! I will be back often. Love this post. I get so bored in the bathroom!


Muhsin
May 21 6:17 am

Oh my god this is so weird. I actually do the same thing too. I read the back of shampoo bottles.. hahahahaha


Debbie
May 16 7:52 pm

I just sit on the toilet & do nothing, except for an occasional song. "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" & the entire score of The Sound Of Music are my favorites!


Cat
May 16 5:07 am

haha, I thought this was a funny post 🙂 I have to admit that I start finding patterns on the wall, too, when I have nothing else to do. I usually bring a book or smartphone with me though!


Tiff K
May 15 9:25 pm

OMG ARE YOU BACK TO BLOGGING?? I just noticed that your last post was 2011 XD I just wanted to ask you if the rollercoaster based on Snow White's song is really true… or were you just joking in your comment on my post…. or i'm just gullible… HAHAHA


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