Sip, Sip, Hooray for New Year’s Day!
New Year’s Eve is the time for new beginnings. It’s the time to start fresh and forget about your mistakes. It’s the time to get your shit together.
To do this, you make resolutions. Some of you plan to visit church and pray for renewed relationships with God. Others vow to make positive changes in your personal lives, like losing weight or conquering bad habits. And some of you promise to quit drinking… with a glass of wine in hand.
For about 24 hours, it’s all pretty inspiring. “This will be the year,” you say. “It’ll actually happen this time. I’ll be a hero. I’ll motivate others. I’ll end up with my own show on the Oprah Network.”
Things look quite promising until the clock strikes midnight. Then it’s over. Hell breaks loose, and you all turn into party animals. All your inspirational goals, and sometimes even your underwear, are thrown out the window. You ring in the new year by getting drunk, destroying furniture, passing out on strangers’ beds, and ultimately waking up the next morning spooning a bearded woman named Helga.
None of it makes any sense. Why do you sabotage your lives with such bizarre behavior? Do you hate yourselves? Well, yeah, probably.
Regardless, you need to dig deeper and find some dignity. It’s not enough to just state a goal, you need to take it seriously and believe in yourself. Stop with the shenanigans. Remember, up above, I said it was time to get your shit together… not time to shit in a sweater.
If it helps, make a resolution about your resolutions. Do whatever it takes. Every year, you want a New Year’s Eve you’ll never forget, but then you drink so much you can’t remember it.
You’ve ruined such a great holiday, and it’s a damn shame. I love New Year’s Eve. It’s my guilty pleasure. Unlike Christmas (a holiday that forces me to celebrate with relatives), New Year’s Eve is a chance to celebrate with people I actually enjoy celebrating with.
But the traditions aren’t helping either. Some of these rituals are truly bizarre. Like, why must we beat the crap out of pots and pans, witness trauma-inducing explosions in the sky, and gawk as a giant ball descends?
Seriously. We are watching balls drop. I mean, I understand that we’re celebrating age and maturity, but do we really need a literal representation of puberty?
Even though I’ve lost faith in humanity, I still plan on making my own New Year’s resolution. Or, well, I did… but then I thought, “Why tamper with perfection?” For now, I’ll just wish you all a safe night out. I hope you remember me in the morning.
122 Comments
Rachel
Probably to the Caribbean 😀 I've never been on a cruise or to the Caribbean, so it'll be really funnnnn.
Eunice
Haha omg your site name made me laugh xD
I love your site!
And your blog was so interesting to read haha.
I agree about the drinking and stuff. That's a great way to start the day, huh? xD
But then again, I guess people's new year's start after their hangover 😛
LOL about the ball dropping. It is a pretty strange ritual once I think about it.
& yes, why mess with perfection, right? Haha 😀
Jill
Haha thanks. The additions to the layout are very cool.
Mary
LOL its a huge "duck". I went to two other stores and they were sold out aswell they need more stock!
You are the only one who liked Fairly Mary besides me. I bought the domain but coding is really shitting me. I hate wordpress!!
Minteh
I would… but calculators remind me of math. -shudder-
Rachel
my birthday, the Half-Blood Prince movie, going on a cruise, and the inevitable breakup of two certain people when one moves away (and yes, I look forward to that >.>)
I do have Photoshop and I used it for them, but still… twenty times man >.> obnoxious. as. hell.
Nnie
Lol. stupid ants.
Pet Society makes me addicted! I'm so addicted of that game yeah you should play it! I'm using cheat lol.
I read your blog and this is REALLY FUNNY (or it's just me?):
Anyone see the irony? Every year, millions of people want a New Year's Eve that they'll never forget, but they drink so much that they can't remember it.
Lol HAHAHHAHAHA .
I love reading your blogs! They're really funny! I like the way you write a blog lol
Monica
I mean I understand you 😛
I've been trying to make a layout in 800×600 because I finally learned my lesson xD
Rachel
Thanks… not that long, probably a half hour to 45 minutes total? and only because it was obnoxious to recolor them and stuff.
So I'm attempting to compile a list of things I can look forward to in 2009… it's sadly lacking -_- I have… four things >.<
Rachel
Lol yes, they're the crayon things here: http://woolisauce.heartdrops.org/webmat.php
Aww yay!! Glad I could please you <3
Gillian
Yes that guy. And really ? Then i will. Im sure he'll love you off 😉
I warn you though.. once he likes you .. he wont let go.
Ce
Oooh cute little layout. It really fits into the party mood.
And *gasps* how did you manage to find my blog? That's weird :p I thought it was properly hidden in the very heart of Blogger.
Gillian
Haha just watching some tv and trying VERY HARD to get this guy to stop texting me o_o
And yourself?
Rachel
Ah yes. You know, all those lit classes in school teaching about attention-grabbing hooks have absolutely no effect on me ^.^
Call to duty!! Everyone, rally to your nearest bookstore and buy out all their Dirty Joke books!! That means you! 😉
Lol I know. Twas a terrible terrible thing.
Erica
I find new years a giant waste of time. Why spent money to go to a hall and get drunk and party with friends when you could really do that any day of the year. Oh well.
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