Pole Dancing for Babies
While surfing the web, I stumbled upon a bonkers article about a Canadian company teaching pole dancing to girls nine years of age… and under. Seriously? Miley Cyrus, what have you started?
Now, for those who don’t frequent strip clubs, pole dancing isn’t exactly your typical ballet routine. It’s what erotic dancers do in place of just going up on stage, taking off their clothes, and standing naked. The moves are often suggestive and sexual — and why wouldn’t they be? Let’s face it, men don’t go to strip clubs to sip tea, listen to classical music, and discuss existentialism.
This is absolutely no place for a toddler. The only pole a kid should be playing with is found inside a set of Lincoln Logs.
Apparently, the instructors defended the class as great exercise. But come on, these are infants we’re talking about. It’s called “baby fat” for a reason!
One of the instructors had the audacity to say, “I challenge anyone who thinks this is bad to get up on a pole and try to pull their legs over their head.” Sure, because clearly, if it’s difficult, it must be good for kids, right? Well, flirting with a goat is pretty challenging too…
But here’s the kicker—these little pole dancers are completely clueless. They’re too innocent to know the true answer to “Who’s your daddy?”
And imagine the conversations at home: “Hey, kiddo, so this is what strippers do to earn money from Grandpa.” Talk about awkward!
It’s all so trashy. What’s next? A class on how to rock leopard prints or master street-corner poses? Maybe they’ll offer a course on “My First G-String.”
And not that it makes a difference, but most of these kids haven’t even grown enough hair to twirl!
So, what’s the endgame here? Picture Mom saying, “Stick with it, and you might just have a dirty wad of twenties in your future.” It’s like a twisted plot to save money on college tuition.
I crack up thinking about the six-year-old boys watching from the audience—decked out in pimp coats, with their chains jingling, as they rain nickels from above. They’ll probably barter for services with bubble gum and Bratz dolls. But hey, at least the diaper-clad dancers will have a convenient place to stash their earnings.
In my opinion, any young girl interested in pole dancing should be gently nudged towards gymnastics, where the end goal isn’t just dollar bills. But brace yourselves—there’s actually a petition to make pole dancing an Olympic sport!
What? How do you even judge an Olympic pole dancing routine? “I give it a nine” takes on a whole new meaning.
But jokes aside, there are cultural implications about pole dancing that people need to be honest about. The reason we get upset about young girls grinding on a pole is because it’s inherently sexual, and you can’t assume a kid won’t be affected by other people’s reactions to it.
I mean, how will a girl who chose pole dancing over tap dancing feel when she realizes what others think of her?
54 Comments
Charles Bjørnsen Ravndal
That's indeed disturbing. Though there's a fitness centre here that offers pole dancing lessons and I'm actually interested to try since it's a good exercise routine. At least, they don't offer that courses to children.
Surprisingly in Norway even though we're very liberal in terms of equality and gay marriages, we don't really have a culture for strip clubs. In Bergen, the second largest city and where I came from, we only have one strip club and the dancers are really professionals. Also feminism is quite strong here.
Anyway, regarding to the vaj opening a bottle of beer, my mum swore it's true because she also saw it herself down in the tropics.
Shenae
Amen sister. I looked this up to see if this was just a humorous rant, but when I saw how factual it was, it made me drop my coke can. And I loves me some coca-cola so I was pissed for two reasons. Then again, when you look at the "women"(should be more like little girls) in main stream media, what can you expect. You see 15(*cough* miley)year old girls half way stripping on TV. My boyfriend has started calling the disney tv girls the "Disney Channel Sluts" because when they are so young and take clothing off on air and sing about sexual things, what would little girls who idolize them expect. Ya know?
Debbie/Mom
I think that the little girl who chooses pole dancing rather than tap dancing has a better chance for employment, if college doesn't work out….just sayin'. Seriously, what are the little kids wearing when they pole dance? Are they wearing g-strings, thongs, or leotards? If they're not wearing leotards but the other things,I think this is seriously disturbing stuff and that someone needs to report this company. I really don't think that this is appropriate for young children; although the exercise would be good for them. Love, Mom
Katie
oh i failed at writing my own website D:
Katie
Yeah I've heard about this woman here who teaches poledancing to those who are like 4 years old. It's crazy… I'm not against it for those who are adults, but.. 4? hellllll no!
Felisa
I have nothing against pole dancing… for adults. I do think it's a great work out and no, it doesn't always translate to wearing skimpy clothes BUT it's definitely sexual. As in not a matter of "it's what you make of it." It IS sexual. And children who are unaware of their sexuality shouldn't be doing that.
Erdos0
This is very messed up.
Catherine
Woah I thought this story would be about the Mum that taught her child to pole dance, but now I know that this crap is going on somewhere else! Dx
That is actually… disturbing. Just why.
People use 'exercise' as an excuse for teaching it to kids, but honestly there are other ways to exercise. Go jogging – do some dance – do some crunches or something, pole dancing isn't the only way.
But then again, this year on Britains Got Talent there was a pole dancer, and she didn't make it look sleezy in fact it was almost like gymnastics. So maybe it's time there's a new cleaner image brought to pole dancing, it doesn't need to be sexual Dx
Pam
You were born to be famous, Justin. And I'm sure, one day you will be. 🙂
If kids do pole dancing in a non-sexual way, whist fully clothed, then I don't really see a problem. However, that is not the case. It's pretty sick, to be honest.
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