Shred Pounds with CHAINSAW
Millions of people around the world are bummed out by their bodies. Desperate to drop a few pounds, they end up doing more harm than good with fad diets and pricey surgeries. They care so much about how they look on the outside that they’re perfectly willing to wreak havoc on their insides.
If you’re one of these folks, then boy, do I have the product for you!
Ever dream of rocking that new bathing suit at the beach with confidence? Want to squeeze into a size four for your sister’s no-fatties-allowed wedding? Dying to enjoy amusement park rides from inside the cars?
Worry no more! Weight loss is now instant and requires little to no effort. The newest diet revolution is here. Introducing: CHAINSAW.
With CHAINSAW, all your weight woes are history. Unlike other weight loss programs, the CHAINSAW method is a breeze and doesn’t demand months of dedication. You will shed pounds in mere seconds!
After signing up for CHAINSAW, you’ll receive a package in the mail within 2-5 business days. Once it arrives, take CHAINSAW out of the box and fire it up. Hit the ON button, and simply apply CHAINSAW to any limb of your choosing (warning: this part may get messy).
Once you’ve completed these simple steps, head to the nearest scale. Take your time and watch your step—those red puddles of “excess pounds” can be slippery. Remember, safety always comes first with CHAINSAW!
While weighing yourself, you should notice an instant difference. Heck, if you stand on the scale long enough, you might even see the pounds drop before your very eyes!
The average limb weighs 10-25 pounds, and CHAINSAW uses a patented scientific whatchamajigger to whittle that weight down to practically nothing.
So what’s the catch? How much does this miracle product cost? Well, sign up now and you’ll get the best deal in town. Most people are willing to give an arm and a leg for their dream body, and with CHAINSAW, that’s all we’re asking for!
Call now! Cut off your food addiction. Shred that unwanted body fat. Sever your ties with depression.
CHAINSAW also doubles as a toothbrush.
118 Comments
Stephine
I didn't say it was wrong, just not small to me :] Well it is, but if I wa sa size 6 I wouldn't think it was small. That makes no sense, haha.
That girl had unlimited texting too, haha. They said her bill would have been $2,000 if she didn't have it.
Rachel
Mall wandering 😀 hence, ALL TYPES OF SHOPPING ^.^
Mary
No its not weird. Layouts always look different on different browsers.
Mandie
haha I know!
I suck at coming up with jokes. Im not funny at all.
Though sometimes I'll say something vulger(sp?) and my friends will think its funny. haha xD
MORPHIOUS
yea. "hores make you feel good" 😀
forget about the gym eh? 🙂
Vicky
LOL, dude you're going to be smashed. I can't handle my drink 🙁 I drink Strongbow XD Only takes me 2-3 pints and I'm drunk. People say it sucks, but at least I don't have to spend loads of money XD
Have fun though 😀
Viki
so now this is where is come down the questions;
rainbow or pot of gold.
dun Dun DUHN
-insert who 'wants to be a millionaire' intense music here-
Meaghan!
Lol because I use it on like Halloween & on like Crazy hair days at school.
Not all the time lol.
But I do it when I go places where I haven't been to before 🙂
Haha, chainsaw XD
Omg ew, it doubles as a toothbrush D:
Eugh, that thought just like totally grossed me out haha.
Mandie
haha nooooo not a Jusimon!
haha get it? simon and justin?! hahahhaha xD
cause simon is a meanie to all of them people that suck.
I dont like singing infront of people. I have REALLY bad stage freight haha xD.
Vicky
LOL my sisters a knob. Seriously, she's so thick. She talks to me about dogs all the time 🙁 I love dogs, but she chats poo.
Thanks 😀 You got any plans for the weekend?
Chelley
hahaha. "scientific-thingy-what-cha-ma-call-it". priceless justin. this post definatley made my laugh uncontrollably.
Rachel
I'm doing pretty well too… high school is also keeping me busy, but I'm excited to get some relief and go shopping with my friend on Sunday!
Thanks, I'm glad that I'm happy too 🙂
Sandra
Awesome! Great diet tip! Now I can look hot for the bikini season! Any tips on how to get a great tan aswell ;o)
Viki
oh but of course.
you know how it is, floating and all.
Aaron
I didn't mean to do that, but I did it by accident.
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