Ba Da Ba Ba Bah, I’m Lovin’ Sh*t
In the mood for a romantic night out, my boyfriend and I headed to the local McDonalds. Yes, I know, it’s not the typical choice for a lovey-dovey evening, what with the screaming kids, greasy food, and that perverted clown who’s lovin’ it. But believe it or not, we had a blast.
Love was in the air, although it did have to compete with the aroma of fries and obese children. Nevertheless, as we dug into our food, we couldn’t help but smile and laugh. We were having a literal happy meal. Not even the Hamburglar could have robbed us of our bliss.
But then, tragedy struck.
Let me paint the scene. We were seated on those uncomfortable bench-table combos. My boyfriend was chatting away about the latest Britney Spears gossip, while I idly scanned the back of my paper placemat, which now disappointingly features nutritional facts instead of fun coloring activities. Not cool.
Suddenly, our date was interrupted by a loud noise from the side entrance. The door swung open dramatically, and in rushed a large, shirtless man with what can only be described as McGriddle-like nipples. He emitted a few grunts as he sprinted past our table, arms flailing like he was possessed by Spongebob SquarePants.
As he made a beeline for the restroom, his heavy footsteps echoed against the linoleum. With each stride, his pants drooped lower and lower, eventually revealing a not-so-attractive view of his gaping ass crack.
Once he disappeared into the bathroom, my boyfriend and I exchanged bewildered glances. At first, we were silent, but it wasn’t long before we burst into uncontrollable laughter. I mean, seriously, what on earth had just happened? Was this real life? Should we be concerned?
Once we regained our composure, my boyfriend quipped, “I wonder if he crapped himself.” I chuckled at his comment and glanced around the room, half-hoping to see others also laughing at the absurdity of it all. However, something else caught my eye first. There was something on the floor beside our table.
Curious, I leaned in for a closer look. At first, I couldn’t quite make it out, but then it hit me. Or, well, at least the smell hit me. I suddenly regretted this entire McDonalds date night. It had turned, well, shitty. Because there, right in front of us, was a small stream of poo making its way toward the restroom.
In horror, I pointed at the offending mess, letting out a whispered shriek. And then, in a high-pitched, valley girl voice, I wailed, “HE DID!!!!!”
Panic mode activated as we jumped out of our seats, dodging the unexpected obstacle course of excrement on the floor. We hurried to the counter, desperately flagging down an employee to report the situation. And you won’t believe her response: “Not again.”
At this McDonalds, she did not put a smile on.
119 Comments
Thuyy
D: I'm trying, I'm trying! I just can't figure out how to get fanupdate to match my layout. >.<
{reading blog~}
…ROFLMAO!!
omfg that was hilarious. and at the same time very disturbing.
lol britney spears.
lol brown ickyness.
that was hilarious and nasty.
Georgia
haha, your comment made me laugh a lot!! :L
Laura
The same thing sometimes happens to me with MSN, it signs me in and out due to a bad connection, so I suppose that it is not always the persons fault :). However, the people who sign in and out begging people to speak to them that is there fault so I shall continue to be annoyed with them hehe :).
Eeeee that's really disgusting. I would have had to leave the place seriously, my stomache would just not have been able to cope ¬¬. What a nice way to end your romantic breakfast with your boyfriend :(. Lol, McDonalds is great though haha xD. I do like a happy meal hehe :).
Jill
Lol I tried that but as soon as I got personal, someone from my school found the blog x.x
EW, that's scarring…
Isi
awww thanks soo much D:
that mean alot 😀
oh my gosh thats embarrassing!!!! he pooped in his pants!!!! thats just wrong is soo many ways lol.
Sky
Haha! I didn't think it was that emotional 😛
Oh my gosh.. I've never thought of the clow that way. That's so weird. Trust you to think like that justin! haha 🙂
That's disgusting! Ewww. I can't belive a fully grown man couldn't hold it in, lmao. I bet you didn't have much of an appetite after that.
-Sky
Amanda
haha yeaa; I thought I would've lost like at least a pound. I ended up loosing more weight from being sick then from riding xD
Lee
Yes, I may look at it that way; but I'm planning to change it because it's kind of old. 😛
The font is called Bambino in case you didn't know. 😀
Kate
Yess. Mario karts is uber awesome. I'm always bonking people out the way with my rally romper xD
I've never played Evony or Age of Empires. I've always wanted to play Halo or World of Warcraft xD My cousin has the headset and stuff ahah.
ps to pssss: Ohhhhh. That's what happened to me, but instead I got Fanupdate, but got sick of that, so switched to WordPress. I lurve WordPress.
Lee
Oh, sorry… I thought that what you meant by "working-with-others" is that you build sites with your friends. 😛
I need a better layout too, my current one is pretty much imageless.
Kate
Haha. xD
I mostly like to play Mario games. I also love Animal Crossing, Sims, and role playing games such a Final Fantasy. Oh and, Resident Evil >:) How about you? Much of a gamer?
reply to ps to ps: oh okay. Lucky you have one of those anti-spam shiz codes. Otherwise you'd get LOOOAAAAADDDSSS of spam D;
Kate
Well instead of being inside on my computer and gaming a lot (which I do like doing), I should be out with my friends, making the most of life. Well, that's what i'm trying to tell myself. None of my friends are that interesting though. Theres a couple that stand out, but I guess i'm too lazy to pick up the phone. I think I'll regret not going out, when I'm old and wrinkly, or having a mid life crisis 😛
p.s. You should really have a "Remember me" button 😛
Kate
I go out every second weekend. I don't feel like it most times. But sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time on this planet
Lee
Oh, I get what you mean. xD I have no knowledge of topsites. :
Did you make IPAL yourself?
Kate
Woah D; My sleeping patterns are messed up. I like sleep when I get home from school, I can't sleep at night :S
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