Christmas movies make me laugh with all their clichés. There’s always a scene where children rush down the stairs to discover mountain of presents beneath the tree. Cue the sappy music as the camera pans over the kids tearing open boxes, revealing board games, Bratz dolls, and the occasional Mr. Potato Head. Parents look on adoringly, and the world is full of happiness. Gross. I don’t know about you, but my childhood Christmases never looked [...]

What is with our passion for abbreviations? And while we’re at it, why is “abbreviations” such a long word? I firmly believe in spelling out words entirely. Chatspeak is a last resort for me, reserved for those who don’t deserve the effort. For example, if I were typing a breakup email (yes, I’m an awful person), it might read something like this… Sup Ex, Yes, u hurd me… U r my ex now. We r [...]

Why on earth do Hurricanes have names? I can understand giving names to planets, household pets, and maybe even male genitalia, but it makes no sense to give names to tropical storms. Isn’t it a tad distasteful to be on a first-name basis with an evil whirlwind of doom? I mean, we don’t give names to tornadoes, snowstorms, earthquakes, blizzards, or any other natural disaster… So why not just say there’s a hurricane coming? That’d [...]

I’m not the most religious person in the world, but I grasp the basics. Love thy neighbors? Check. Love thy enemies? Sure, why not. Funny enough, those are the same people. I vaguely recall tales of a colossal ark and water that gets you drunk, but the finer points elude me. As a kid, my mom tried to indoctrinate me into Christianity. She’d lecture and threaten, hoping to steer me away from eternal damnation. I [...]