Pole Dancing for Babies
While surfing the web, I stumbled upon a bonkers article about a Canadian company teaching pole dancing to girls nine years of age… and under. Seriously? Miley Cyrus, what have you started?
Now, for those who don’t frequent strip clubs, pole dancing isn’t exactly your typical ballet routine. It’s what erotic dancers do in place of just going up on stage, taking off their clothes, and standing naked. The moves are often suggestive and sexual — and why wouldn’t they be? Let’s face it, men don’t go to strip clubs to sip tea, listen to classical music, and discuss existentialism.
This is absolutely no place for a toddler. The only pole a kid should be playing with is found inside a set of Lincoln Logs.
Apparently, the instructors defended the class as great exercise. But come on, these are infants we’re talking about. It’s called “baby fat” for a reason!
One of the instructors had the audacity to say, “I challenge anyone who thinks this is bad to get up on a pole and try to pull their legs over their head.” Sure, because clearly, if it’s difficult, it must be good for kids, right? Well, flirting with a goat is pretty challenging too…
But here’s the kicker—these little pole dancers are completely clueless. They’re too innocent to know the true answer to “Who’s your daddy?”
And imagine the conversations at home: “Hey, kiddo, so this is what strippers do to earn money from Grandpa.” Talk about awkward!
It’s all so trashy. What’s next? A class on how to rock leopard prints or master street-corner poses? Maybe they’ll offer a course on “My First G-String.”
And not that it makes a difference, but most of these kids haven’t even grown enough hair to twirl!
So, what’s the endgame here? Picture Mom saying, “Stick with it, and you might just have a dirty wad of twenties in your future.” It’s like a twisted plot to save money on college tuition.
I crack up thinking about the six-year-old boys watching from the audience—decked out in pimp coats, with their chains jingling, as they rain nickels from above. They’ll probably barter for services with bubble gum and Bratz dolls. But hey, at least the diaper-clad dancers will have a convenient place to stash their earnings.
In my opinion, any young girl interested in pole dancing should be gently nudged towards gymnastics, where the end goal isn’t just dollar bills. But brace yourselves—there’s actually a petition to make pole dancing an Olympic sport!
What? How do you even judge an Olympic pole dancing routine? “I give it a nine” takes on a whole new meaning.
But jokes aside, there are cultural implications about pole dancing that people need to be honest about. The reason we get upset about young girls grinding on a pole is because it’s inherently sexual, and you can’t assume a kid won’t be affected by other people’s reactions to it.
I mean, how will a girl who chose pole dancing over tap dancing feel when she realizes what others think of her?
54 Comments
Nancy
There's GaGa accessories!! 🙂 But Lady Gaga just uses a blackberry, I think :O! Or I heard 😛 I can't tell the difference between geese and ducks! Hmmm, Geese are a bit louder, fierce, and.. bigger, I think :O! I`m not sure 😛
Sage
Ok, this is just wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG! Here in Australia they are selling teething credit cards for babies, what next?
LMFAO @ humping a goat. That made me spit my water out onto the screen haha.
The weird thing about this for me is, the media is all about sexual innuendo and how bad this and that is on a sexual front and yet in the next breath petition pole dancing as an Olympic sport. I dunno, the world is seriously warped …
I actually didn't go to the guys site and say he inspired me, but you just gave me an awesome thought though, thank you 😉
Shriya
Well, I thought, Sapniqua isn't a name a normal girl with the right brain would ever opt for. And knowing your dislike for vampires and talking to plants, I added two and two.
I can't just spring economics on them like that. When they are shouting at me, "Why were you out so late? I have told you thousands and thousands of times how little girls like you get raped everyday by disgusting, filthy…"
Me: "Dad, what policy did the British use to conquer India?"
Lame, much? 😛
Oh yeah, I remember your money comment. And Oprah. And me upper than Oprah. Right right. Sorry. Actually the fault lies with me. Sometimes I am too lazy to read long, long blogs so I skip a few lines in between.
This is why I assumed everyone would be like me too. Don't worry, I read yours though. 😛
AHHA. I knew you'd say that. That is why I mentioned it. Hmm..have you changed it yet? Let me go look. *Scrolls*
No you haven't!
What does this prove? This proves that I am not making you sound like a lazy ass. You are a lazy ass. Just kidding. 😛
I am busted. I know. *Heaves a breath* I am going to fake a heart attack tomorrow. Think that'd get me out of it? I mean a 16 year old getting a heart attack? Sounds pretty serious if you ask me.
Actually when I finished typing the blog, I thought it was too short. So I copied and pasted the last paragraph of what I had written to you earlier. See, I told you I was lazy.
The first thing I am going to buy you is a stenographer as soon as I become "upper" than Oprah. You can hold me to the promise.
Ah. Hello? Which school gives teenagers 70,000 word novels to write? I wrote it because I wanted to and because I am studious. *Smirks*
Kissliin
OMG. Who in their right mind think that pole dancing is appropriate for four year-old children?! GRRR. They must be pedophiles or something. Well, they're not going to be as stupid as the parents who will actually enroll their INNOCENT little kids to that program! Why would you leave your kids in the hands of a total stranger, who just suggested that pole dancing is a form or an EXERCISE? Running is an exercise, not taking your clothes of for some pervert. EW. Making it an Olympic sport? I think it will increase the male viewers but then again, not all males are interested in that kind of stuff. They might even end up closing the Olympics for good because no one wants to witness that kind of foolishnes!
Nancy
Ooooh! Pet ducks!! Theres a lot of ducks at a park down the street from my school. Apparently, they chase after people :O! Unless you raise the duck from when it was a baby 🙂 They would grow affectionate. GaGa phones!! With a GaGa case, background, and the phone hanging thingr :O!
Nancy
Pshhh, if only thats the case 😛 I can`t trust chickens in the house :O! They`ll surely make a mess!! 44 seconds to just open a text message? :O! That is outrageous! If its old and cheap, then thats the reason :D. My phone is just ordinary that not much people have :P. These days, the only phones I see is MetroPCS (Los Angeles only coverage) and their phones are so plain :X.
Nancy
I sleep with the kittens, LOL! I`m scared of chickens. They chase after me. I can`t do anything about it or it`ll be considered animal abuse :O !! Suuucks that it fell in >:(!! At least it gives you a reason to get a new phone :P. I know I can`t because mine is still "newish" 🙁 Most phones these days are palm-sized so I guess its the same :O!
Morgan
Wow. That's crazy. :O
Thanks for joining my contest, by the way.
Lilly
Thanks. CuteNews is so stupid; I'm probably switching to something else soon lol.
That's an interesting thing to know. I think that poledancing can be fun without nudity, but putting little kids into the stripping environment is definitely the wrong thing to do. We already have enough people, like Miley Cyrus, making faulty rolemodels for our future generation lol.
Christin
WHAT?!?! This is absolutely insane! I'm convinced 2012 is coming early. I was a tap dancer when I was young because it was good for staying active, and it was great for self esteem! You practice all year and you have a recital. What are these girls going to show off? The fact that you can spread your legs around a pole? This is absolutely horrifying, but the parents who allow their daughters to do this are even more so!
Nancy
Haha :P! A little mini baby chicken 🙂 Though I sleep with the kittens sometimes :O! I wonder if that makes me a… Hmmm :O These scooby sheets are less than 3 years old, and it was from Anna's Linens or something. There were lots of those cartoons to choose from :P. I love the blackberry, only because its like.. my size :P. I just like the top 4, storm, curve, bold, and I`ll most likely like the torch :O!! What kind of phone do you use? I`m just interested in what everyone's tech taste is :P.
Shriya
This is a copied message to all those being advertised with The Vault:
Hello,
Just a quick note to say we've moved.
If you'd still like to be advertised, just leave me a message. I'd put you up immediately.
Thank you.
Georgina
I haven't heard of this at all. I think it's really ridiculous that at such a young age, people are thinking about pole dancing for their children. It's inappropriate because of what we in society know pole dancing to be. After all if they're looking to build their children's flexibility and stuff, why not send them to dance classes or something. When I was younger my parents sent me to gymnastics to me more flexible, as well as dance classes.
I think the age is just really inappropriate. It doesn't help. I'm sure they could give young ones the necessary skills needed for whatever, but it shouldn't be called or related to anything like pole dancing.
And it does make sense to delve into gymnastics where they can strive for some sort of dream if they enjoy it. Not… hop into a brothel and all that jazz. 😛
Shriya
OMG. I can't believe your sense of humor. Breathing carbon dioxide on them helps them grow? Awesome.
Don't tell me. Sapniqua. Were you watching a vampire movie before going buying that plant?
*Sighs* I made the mistake of asking them a question. Mom began explaining me and then dad came over and asked what she was explaining. She told him, and he said that her answer was wrong. They started bickering among each other on who was right and I still haven't got my answer.
I hate being taught by my parents. My mom is too lazy and my dad too impatient. When he asks me if I have understood a concept, I'd say yes even if he hasn't. And then I waste another hour trying to understand what he'd said. *Rolls eyes* What a waste of time.
Not true. You have a lot of evidence. For example, do you see a cheerleader worrying about a 500 word essay like I am? 2010: An Environmental Disaster Or The Technological Era. If you read the whole blog, that is. 😛
Then you see the three novels I have written. What sort of sixteen year old wastes – fine, spends – two years writing books. The studious one, you get it.
And then you say you don't have any evidence. Men. Honestly.
(I have always wanted to say that!)
Shriya
So I didn't go. Obviously. I figured out something.
My dad is an accountant and has studied economics extensively. My mom has done masters in economics. What does that imply? That implies economics runs in my blood. I don't need to study.
I tried studied. Believe me, I did. But I just couldn't concentrate.So I thought, what the hell.
What do you mean? You don't believe I am studious? Jeez. I am the king of studiousness. Or the queen, in this case.
Eeks. What do you think? Is it a give excuse to give it to my teacher?
OMG. Fingerprints develop at eighteen weeks in a fetus? No shit. So did they take out various fetuses at various stages of development for this silly fact? All in the name of science. Doctors, Shmockters. Hmm..
Gimme the link for the plant article. I wanna see what you've written. I am trying your IQ quiz right now. And failing miserably. Jeez. Is it possible to have an IQ in negative? *Bites Nails* I am seriously worried.
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