Sip, Sip, Hooray for New Year’s Day!
New Year’s Eve is the time for new beginnings. It’s the time to start fresh and forget about your mistakes. It’s the time to get your shit together.
To do this, you make resolutions. Some of you plan to visit church and pray for renewed relationships with God. Others vow to make positive changes in your personal lives, like losing weight or conquering bad habits. And some of you promise to quit drinking… with a glass of wine in hand.
For about 24 hours, it’s all pretty inspiring. “This will be the year,” you say. “It’ll actually happen this time. I’ll be a hero. I’ll motivate others. I’ll end up with my own show on the Oprah Network.”
Things look quite promising until the clock strikes midnight. Then it’s over. Hell breaks loose, and you all turn into party animals. All your inspirational goals, and sometimes even your underwear, are thrown out the window. You ring in the new year by getting drunk, destroying furniture, passing out on strangers’ beds, and ultimately waking up the next morning spooning a bearded woman named Helga.
None of it makes any sense. Why do you sabotage your lives with such bizarre behavior? Do you hate yourselves? Well, yeah, probably.
Regardless, you need to dig deeper and find some dignity. It’s not enough to just state a goal, you need to take it seriously and believe in yourself. Stop with the shenanigans. Remember, up above, I said it was time to get your shit together… not time to shit in a sweater.
If it helps, make a resolution about your resolutions. Do whatever it takes. Every year, you want a New Year’s Eve you’ll never forget, but then you drink so much you can’t remember it.
You’ve ruined such a great holiday, and it’s a damn shame. I love New Year’s Eve. It’s my guilty pleasure. Unlike Christmas (a holiday that forces me to celebrate with relatives), New Year’s Eve is a chance to celebrate with people I actually enjoy celebrating with.
But the traditions aren’t helping either. Some of these rituals are truly bizarre. Like, why must we beat the crap out of pots and pans, witness trauma-inducing explosions in the sky, and gawk as a giant ball descends?
Seriously. We are watching balls drop. I mean, I understand that we’re celebrating age and maturity, but do we really need a literal representation of puberty?
Even though I’ve lost faith in humanity, I still plan on making my own New Year’s resolution. Or, well, I did… but then I thought, “Why tamper with perfection?” For now, I’ll just wish you all a safe night out. I hope you remember me in the morning.
122 Comments
Kaylee
I guess New Years Eve is the last chance to be "bad" before acting on one's resolutions!
I don't make resolutions, either. I'm pretty sure New Year's Resolutions have like, a 120% chance of failure.
Viki
ahah thanks.
well that's what I've heard,
apparently when they changed into the 'sailors' the transformation process was too profine <.<
if that's even possible :p
right, tamper with perfection -crickets-
ahah i get what you mean, some people are like im gonna do this great thing and others are like.
SHFGUVJ$&&^&
don't even remember the night Dx
Stephine
Awh, aha. Well I'm going to be using your template code soon enough and then highly editing it :]
Affies? Before I forget.
You could help me on explaining how to get a freaking background on my site. Someone told me that I have to just leave the background on my layout transparent and then save it as a png. BUT, it doesn't stay transparent if I save it as a png, so I'm completely lost Like, your little new years background. My layouts are always sooo boring because they have no textures or anything.
Happy New Year 🙂
I'm hoping to get Photoshop soon!
Lillie
your wallet comes in mind 😀
Vicky
lol thanks. people on rev.iew.me constantly complain about invalid coding so i thought i might aswel code it lol.
yeah new years eve kinda sucks, although i never get that drunk, i always remember it. lmao.
Have a good one 🙂
Rachel
"Watch balls drop…" that's genius, gotta say >.<
I'll get around to it…sometime… >.>
Lillie Ate Your Pants
lol@ the mom thing 😮
my resolution is to roll around in a mountain of money 😀 hehehe. *grins*
Meaghan!
It's a japanese food :0
It's really yummy 🙂
Mizzy
"why tamper with perfection?"
Yep, I got a kick out of that part, too. Haha!
Willian
Hey.
Well, I hate making resolutions… I never follow them, but I want amazing things for 2009!
About the poem on my blog, Carlos Drummond de Andrade wrote that, he's a brazilian poet, I forgot to put his name there. I'm glad you liked it.
Would you interested in affiliates? Just let me know.
Meaghan!
Lol nice XD I also made rice balls smileys 😛
I don't bother with making New Year's resolutions because I never follow through with them xD
Gillian
Lmaoo thanks alot xD Does it snow in Ohio ?!
Regardless, i would totally dump snow on your driveway too 😀
Btw loving the confetti background haha.
LMAO, omg your blogs always make make me laugh really hard, but thats so true! The New Year is suppose to be a time to make resolutions yet everyone seems to enjoy getting wasted.
Haha tell me about "bizarre rituals."
We just have to accept that our world is a messed up place 😀
Hope you have a fab new year! 🙂
Minteh
"Why tamper with perfection?"
LAWLZ >.<
Celeste
Your articles never fail to amuse me! Yeah sometimes there's a lot of ironies and satire in resolutions itself. Well as they all say leopards can't change their spots overnight, and I definitely won't forget you. I even featured you in my other personal blog!
Chelley
My new year's resolution is to lose weight.. that's not a bad thing. I'll definatley remember you in the morning. Maybe when you wake up you'll be cuddled next to me.. but I won't be a bearded old manly woman named Helga..
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