The Early Bird gets the Worm
They say the early bird gets the worm. I don’t know who they are, but in my humble opinion, they should mind their own business. I mean, who started this stupid rumor? Was it the birds? Is this some sort of avian conspiracy? If so, I hope they all catch a case of the bird flu.
I call BS on this whole “early bird” theory. It implies that people who wake up early, or accomplish things first, will reap all the benefits. That’s ridiculous. It’s not advantageous to be the first one up in the morning. Just ask the worm.
That idiom is a buzzkill. It assumes that all birds have an equal chance of being up at the crack of dawn, when, in actuality, some birds face additional hardships. You know, like the poverty-stricken birds that can’t afford alarm clocks. They are stuck on bird-feed stamps. They live in cardboard nests.
And on the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got birds with an upper wing. Roosters are always up early. That’s kind of their thing.
And don’t get me started on night owls.
In all seriousness, not everyone is a morning person. Some people thrive at night. We shouldn’t have to follow any set schedule. We can accomplish greatness whenever we want.
I don’t want to live in a world where I can only be successful if I wake up at the butt-crack of dawn. I’m always late to everything, so my life would forever be a disaster. I’d probably end up with the shittiest job ever. I’d be working some super sketch third-shift job at a nuclear testing facility scrubbing poop off of radioactive toilets. So yes, it’d be a shitty job indeed.
And worst of all, I’d be a loser. I wouldn’t make a name for myself. No one would know my name. They’d call me Hell. They’d call me Stacey. That’s not my name. That’s not my name.
All because of a stupid expression about a stupid bird. Sigh. I guess I’ll get over it. It’s not worth the trouble. The early bird can keep his damn worm. I don’t want to eat a nasty ass invertebrate anyway. Call me crazy, but I believe that sleeping-in and having a mediocre existence sounds much better than chomping down on a squirmy, nasty bug.
Unless the worm is gummy.
122 Comments
Kyra D.
Well, my mother is a vampire, so I have bat blood in me…I'm naturally nocturnal =.= though I'm slowly moving my sleep schedule to a more normal rate.
Still…I can't stop myself from navigating in the dark using sound waves o.o it's a problem.
Jay
xD I was just saying.. I'm an early bird. You so chomped me off!
Dylan
sorry.
Vincent
Lulls. *Cough* Gives viruss >:]]]
Vincent
Rofls. Aww, I wanna go to the school of awesome, I think I go to the school of boredem. D:
Vincent
Me.. awesme? o_O. Thanks 🙂
You're awesom-err xD
Spencer
You know. I love it when people say "Avian Bird Flu." I'm like "DO YOU KNOW WTF 'AVIAN' IS YOU REDUNDANT BASTARD?"
Oh, sweet sweet idiots, how we enjoy loling at you.
I hate getting up early, too, and I only do it when I HAVE to for school. I'm usually late at getting up early though. I don't care.
X
Okay, you scared me a little bit……. lol.
Vincent
Luls Thanks.
Omg. I love the lips picture 🙂
Kyra D.
Actually, my mom has considered getting a garden, but we need more sunlight on the lawn -jokes- 😉
Even if I don't want to, I automatically get up before 8:00 on weekends :/ though I can't get to sleep until 12:00, so I haven't gotten more then 8 hours of sleep for the past 2 years :O
Jay
I'm one of those naturally born early birds. Even when I don't wake up to go out and get worms, I wake up and go get…….. never mind that. You thought I would keep talking! NOPE (-teehee).
Sounds to me like someone doesn't like getting up early. If you ask me, there is hardly ever a GOOD reason to be up. If we had wings, think we'd have so much hatrid towards Mr. Chirpy? I DON'T THINK SO.
(thanks for the compliment on my layout)
Gillian
Parts that were true, the train rides. And the dieng need to take a piss during the ride.
Peeing in a Bush part was true, and instead of the draq queen incident the washroom doors were padlocked in real life xD
The church ladies wasnt true, but the observation of a ding a ling by 3 girls was true. 😉
Jill
Stupid Mr. Chirpies of the world.
Tiff
I think if you go to bed early, you can wake up at any time you'd like. Besides, if you owned your own business, you could start it at any time you want!
Fee
I am anything but and early bird! I hate getting up in the mornings and would much prefer to sleep until I actually feel like getting up =)
Love your posts!
*despair
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