2020 Vision: The End is in Sight

I’m freaking out right now. I barely catch my breath. With 2010 upon us, there’s a crisis on our hands.

No, I’m not talking about Doomsday predictions, a zombie apocalypse, or even running out of toilet paper. This is far more terrifying. Brace yourself. We’re facing the extinction of novelty New Year’s glasses.

For a solid decade, the two zeros in the middle of the year were a godsend for eyewear designers. They could whip up these “ingenious” glasses, and suddenly, everyone had to have a pair for their New Year’s shindig. And if you couldn’t snag a pair, well, you’d have to hide your face by making out with everyone. (At least, that’s my theory behind all the kissing at these parties.)

Back in 2010, the novelty glasses nearly bit the dust. But lo and behold, creative engineering saved the day by shifting the glasses to the right. Sure, the glasses felt a bit lopsided, but considering most partygoers celebrate by getting drunk and falling over, it somehow balanced out.

But now, with 2011 peeking around the corner, we’re staring down the barrel of a massive conundrum. There’s just one zero. What in the world are we going to do?

If you’ve ever watched coverage of New York, you know these glasses sell like hotcakes. Not only that, they save the city a boatload of cash; these literal spectacles keep New Yorkers so mesmerized that they forget about the lack of other spectacles like fireworks. Instead, they cheer on a ball drop (because who doesn’t want to witness puberty in action?)

The disappearance of these party glasses will spell doom for cities and eyewear companies alike. Before we know it, the global economy will be in shambles. The Mayans tried to warn us. If I recall correctly, there’s a part in their calendar that read, “Listen to that Justin guy who peed a little. Let him be your leader.”

But hey, maybe we can brainstorm some alternative 2011 designs before it’s too late. On the bright side, we’ve still got one zero left in the year. That should keep the cyclops and pirate communities happy. But alas, that’s only 40% of the population.

Perhaps we can do what they did in the 18th century? You know, back when everyone wore New Year’s monocles?

Scratch that. I’ve got a better idea! Let’s compromise the witty design but give the glasses a purpose; turn them into sunglasses. Then we can all pretend we’re celebrities, dodging the paparazzi left and right.

Or how about marketing the glasses as protective gear? You know what they say; never hit a man with glasses. Besides, it makes more sense to hit him with a baseball bat.

But enough of my rambling. Time’s ticking away, and we’re on the brink of a major disaster. Do any of you have any lens-crafty ideas?

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70 Comments
Ashleenah-Page.
Jan 16 10:19 pm

I must say I really enjoyed reading this blog, kind of made my day.
Thank you.

Lyric (my puppy) hasn't bitten any one yet, well what he calls a bite is just opening his mouth and putting your hand in it. Not even a bite, but it's rather cute.

Thank you, I was so excited to have won the trade. It was either myself or another and thankfully I got the last bid in before the last minute. (:


Julia
Jan 16 9:30 pm

Look at the footer


Esme
Jan 16 9:30 pm

Haha I'm sure companies will find ways to make 2011 glasses, don't you worry! Or they're just gonna make like a one-eyed sunglasses or something!


Julia
Jan 16 9:02 pm

Nah, I don't know how to make my own layouts *tear* Thanks for the good luck! Anyways, yeah, but managing 2 isn't so bad.

LOL, this blog is hilarious! "That peepee Justin guy will try to tell them. Let him be your leader." I didn't know you and the Mayans are close friends!

Yeah.. yeah, I've never thought about that! 2011.. Then we should ask more people to become pirates so 2011 glasses would be a fad. If that's grammatically correct. Which I feel isn't.

Lens-crafty ideas? Sorry, I got none.


Nancy
Jan 16 5:20 pm

I love red shirts! Though I don`t really like to wear black shirts… Unless it`s for a special occasion :O! Like my decorated black shirts :D! How`s 2010 treating you?


Debbie Hanks
Jan 16 11:16 am

I am just cutting one of the one's in half, so it will be a mini one….I think that will help. My glasses will still say 2011, but I won't run into things as much.


Debbie Hanks
Jan 16 11:11 am

Great blog, Justin!! Oh, by the way, I overslept today so I am getting your phone things shortly. Sorry. I will message you on facebook when I get them. Love, Mom P.S. I love what you've done with your website!!


Nancy
Jan 16 10:14 am

Nice post! I`m beginning to think about the new years glasses the same way… Though, what one of my lameo ideas are is to make the 0 in 2011 like all wide& stuff so both of your eyes can see through them. But then that`s deformed. There`s no reason to wear sunglasses! It`s too dark B) But I still wear sunglasses in the dark sometimes.

I wore uniforms in my middle school years :<. I hated it. To the max. :'( From what I heard, it`s just going to be a black polo shirt with our slc (small learning community) logo embedded on it. &anything as bottoms. So much for a public school!!!


Jackie
Jan 15 11:26 pm

Hahaha your blogs always make me laugh! By the way I love the new layout, seems so SPACIOUS. I think that's the word I mean..


Joanna
Jan 15 9:18 pm

I have never thought about what there gonna do for 2011. I agree with you, this is a problem!

They are gonna be wasting a lot of money on fireworks. Unfortunately, I can't think of any ideas at the moment.

Monocles, hehe XD


TJ
Jan 14 7:21 pm

Lmfao, i think only you would think about these stuff 🙂 haha, anyway maybe they will just make the One BIG AND FAT 🙂 haha, nah idk but yea new york prob makes like a lot of money off the plastic glasses, now that i think of it 🙂

and with my site, mhm idk what was going on lol


Gel
Jan 14 8:38 am

Haha come to think of it, it never really crossed my mind as to how they'll be coming up with 2011 new year shades! That's rather interesting hahaha. Hope they'll come up with a decent design soon. Clock's ticking!


Becca
Jan 13 7:52 pm

No idea how they are going to compensate for that one! What did they do in 1977?!
Along the same lines, I don't like to watch fireworks so much. I'm not saying a ball drop is any better, but fireworks just don't do it for me. Parades on the other hand…


Jhase
Jan 13 2:59 pm

I HAVE A GENIUS IDEA!!!!

Well no, its not genius, but its an idea design.

See they could take the glasses, put ones on the side of the frames, and then the circles to see out of and then in the middle put "2011" AND THEN ON A FRAME PUT "SPARKLE, DARN YOU!"

Mhm, creative genius.

Yup…

I'm going to stop typing now..


Brian
Jan 13 10:47 am

As long as we keep the pirates happy our booties are safe!


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