I’m freaking out right now. I barely catch my breath. With 2010 upon us, there’s a crisis on our hands.
No, I’m not talking about Doomsday predictions, a zombie apocalypse, or even running out of toilet paper. This is far more terrifying. Brace yourself. We’re facing the extinction of novelty New Year’s glasses.
For a solid decade, the two zeros in the middle of the year were a godsend for eyewear designers. They could whip up these “ingenious” glasses, and suddenly, everyone had to have a pair for their New Year’s shindig. And if you couldn’t snag a pair, well, you’d have to hide your face by making out with everyone. (At least, that’s my theory behind all the kissing at these parties.)
Back in 2010, the novelty glasses nearly bit the dust. But lo and behold, creative engineering saved the day by shifting the glasses to the right. Sure, the glasses felt a bit lopsided, but considering most partygoers celebrate by getting drunk and falling over, it somehow balanced out.
But now, with 2011 peeking around the corner, we’re staring down the barrel of a massive conundrum. There’s just one zero. What in the world are we going to do?
If you’ve ever watched coverage of New York, you know these glasses sell like hotcakes. Not only that, they save the city a boatload of cash; these literal spectacles keep New Yorkers so mesmerized that they forget about the lack of otherย spectacles like fireworks. Instead, they cheer on a ball drop (because who doesn’t want to witness puberty in action?)
The disappearance of these party glasses will spell doom for cities and eyewear companies alike. Before we know it, the global economy will be in shambles. The Mayans tried to warn us. If I recall correctly, there’s a part in their calendar that read, “Listen to that Justin guy who peed a little. Let him be your leader.”
But hey, maybe we can brainstorm some alternative 2011 designs before it’s too late. On the bright side, we’ve still got one zero left in the year. That should keep the cyclops and pirate communities happy. But alas, that’s only 40% of the population.
Perhaps we can do what they did in the 18th century? You know, back when everyone wore New Year’s monocles?
Scratch that. I’ve got a better idea! Let’s compromise the witty design but give the glasses a purpose; turn them into sunglasses. Then we can all pretend we’re celebrities, dodging the paparazzi left and right.
Or how about marketing the glasses as protective gear? You know what they say; never hit a man with glasses. Besides, it makes more sense to hit him with a baseball bat.
But enough of my rambling. Time’s ticking away, and we’re on the brink of a major disaster. Do any of you have any lens-crafty ideas?
Well I haven't seen puberty. That is, I have not seen the ball drop… I ought to go to America some time. Big deal about the glasses though – there's nothing like that in Australia. I heard that they just put a circle behind the "1". Whatever, still looks funny. ๐
AHAHA THATS TRUE !
they should design some sick shades liek the ones that lady gaga wears ๐
LOL! Your posts are so hilarious!
Ball dropping = puberty! I'll have to use that for this New Year's Eve/Day!
That would be so cool, swimming the rain water playing the quad drums ๐ Gives me an idea for one of my random doodle comics ๐
Sweet site, man. Glad to see others out there. Let me know if you want to trade!
Nah I'm not going to have a party, but I'll save you a piece. :3 I saw the cake already! Its covered with color on the outside, then in the inside its just regular chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream. ๐ Yumm!
Haha omg, in my blog I was talking about that they won't have those glasses anymore cause no two 0's next to each other. ๐ But it looks like they found a way. I think its kind of funny how it looks. ๐
I know, I seriously think Mother Nature is getting high somewhere, y'know, something fishy is going on..
Oh, um thanks for laughing at me. xP
Haha, thanks, yeah I guess I am.
Lmao, ๐ How do you think up all these funny interesting topics? I swear, you have time on your hands to be able to think up this stuff.
Haha, I dunno what will happy. I think it will become an eyepatch. Like you see pirates where, and then those 1's will blind the other eye. ๐
Fail. I just typed a whole comment, and forgot to put the anti-spam code in…and it got erased.
Anyways, Yeah, JT died, but he really had to go to collage, i think, so they had to cut him off the show. But he didn't look that old. But who knows. LOL.
Thank you! The paper had to be about a place in the world. I choose Italy. ๐ It's pretty interesting.
OHEMGEE! I never thought about it. What are they going to do? That would be a good idea for a contest. See who could come up with the best design. ๐ Haha.
Haha, it depends on you ๐ 8gb!! Is a lot :P. I only got the 4gig because that my 2gb one somehow got formatted into a 1gb. ๐ Drums are hard in general :(. I`m only somewhat good at it because I always try to imitate the songs that our drumline plays ;). I`m predicting some flood since the rain is a week long ):<!!!!
I'm surprised that you are able to think up interesting topics like this to talk about. I never would have thought about those glasses. But you are completely right. They are going to be screwed when 2011 shows up. I have no idea how to fix this problem.
Ewww. Your friends make you choose? D: What kind of friends are these?! Haha xDD
Hmm. I say that maybe they should curve the 1's in the eleven a little bit…so they can sort of make like, a half-glasses lens…or something o__O
LOL this blog is quite funny but true. I have never thought about those glasses company before xD I think they should make another design before 2011 comes haha. Or they can bend the 1s a bit so it fits the glass ๐ Haha it won't look really good though.
I actually think those glasses are pretty awesome LOL.I wonder what they'll come up with for 2011 ๐ฎ Maybe they'd just have '2011' flashing on the lenses. Though it would be a little difficult to see through the glasses ๐
JUSTIN I HATE YOUR COMMENT THINGY. I wrote this comment, but it got deleted because I typed in the captcha incorrectly. -.- So, this is just basically what I said:
They could just make the "11" a bit wider/bigger, so we can look through that, and the 20 can just be off to the side. XD
oooh! I remember the mickey outfit! Good luck ;D! That`s down B)
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