2020 Vision: The End is in Sight
I’m freaking out right now. I barely catch my breath. With 2010 upon us, there’s a crisis on our hands.
No, I’m not talking about Doomsday predictions, a zombie apocalypse, or even running out of toilet paper. This is far more terrifying. Brace yourself. We’re facing the extinction of novelty New Year’s glasses.
For a solid decade, the two zeros in the middle of the year were a godsend for eyewear designers. They could whip up these “ingenious” glasses, and suddenly, everyone had to have a pair for their New Year’s shindig. And if you couldn’t snag a pair, well, you’d have to hide your face by making out with everyone. (At least, that’s my theory behind all the kissing at these parties.)
Back in 2010, the novelty glasses nearly bit the dust. But lo and behold, creative engineering saved the day by shifting the glasses to the right. Sure, the glasses felt a bit lopsided, but considering most partygoers celebrate by getting drunk and falling over, it somehow balanced out.
But now, with 2011 peeking around the corner, we’re staring down the barrel of a massive conundrum. There’s just one zero. What in the world are we going to do?
If you’ve ever watched coverage of New York, you know these glasses sell like hotcakes. Not only that, they save the city a boatload of cash; these literal spectacles keep New Yorkers so mesmerized that they forget about the lack of other spectacles like fireworks. Instead, they cheer on a ball drop (because who doesn’t want to witness puberty in action?)
The disappearance of these party glasses will spell doom for cities and eyewear companies alike. Before we know it, the global economy will be in shambles. The Mayans tried to warn us. If I recall correctly, there’s a part in their calendar that read, “Listen to that Justin guy who peed a little. Let him be your leader.”
But hey, maybe we can brainstorm some alternative 2011 designs before it’s too late. On the bright side, we’ve still got one zero left in the year. That should keep the cyclops and pirate communities happy. But alas, that’s only 40% of the population.
Perhaps we can do what they did in the 18th century? You know, back when everyone wore New Year’s monocles?
Scratch that. I’ve got a better idea! Let’s compromise the witty design but give the glasses a purpose; turn them into sunglasses. Then we can all pretend we’re celebrities, dodging the paparazzi left and right.
Or how about marketing the glasses as protective gear? You know what they say; never hit a man with glasses. Besides, it makes more sense to hit him with a baseball bat.
But enough of my rambling. Time’s ticking away, and we’re on the brink of a major disaster. Do any of you have any lens-crafty ideas?
70 Comments
Shannon
Hehe, your blog made me giggle. It was quite humorous!
But, now that you've mentioned it, I'm going to be stuck on this concept! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO BE DOING FOR 2011 GLASSES!? (Or NOT glasses, seeing as there's only one eye hole?)
Thanks for the birthday wish! (:
Katie
I immediately though of them doing 2011 with just the one 0 covering the whole eye-span like skiing goggles.
but yea snow over here definitely makes it crazy here. everything becomes a complete stand still. thankfully with all the rain & fog & whatnot on Friday it finally lifted and went away. It's now odd to see green grass.
Nancy
I would so like to see the gaga inspired outfits! I love her fashion, it shows a lot of self confidence within her :D!
Paige
Haha I was in Computer Concepts. My teacher only gave us one assignment that took about 15 minutes, & then he left the room for a long time to help film something in the next class.
My parents just expect all A's from me. However, they don't from my brother. Stupid double standards.
Lol, I was wondering what they were going to do about the glasses too.
Jenn
LOL I've seriously never, ever seen those. But, that does make sense. How the hell are they gonna make glasses with one zero?? Gah.
Haha yeah, lots of people have seen those sites. No problem. 🙂
And I changed my URL to http://brokendesire.org 🙂
Chynna
I feel your pain, my friend. I used your blog as a starter topic in Media the other day. My teacher found it amusing that I took this seriously. I like those glasses – what will happen in 2011 D: M'eh.
Nancy
>:O! canceled concert?! So not cool ):!
Simone
Wow, I never realized until I read you blog that in New York, they don't shoot fireworks to welcome the new year like in other countries, we just watch the ball drop. (lol at the puberty thing)
I watched this year and they were on there talking about the glasses. Now you got me thinking, what are they going to do about 2011. Hmmm, was the whole glasses thing going on in the 90's…if so what did they do then. Gosh, you brought up such good points but I seriously thought you were going to talk about the world ending or something.
This year is something else. Right now it's not treating me so good. How about you?
Car
Yeah, it was pretty painful. Apparently the dentist had another man come in with symptoms that came after forty years!
Ahahaa maybe they'll just have to scrap tacky glasses in 2011? Or they could make the one remaining 'o' into an oval, so both eyes can see through? Gah! I don't know!
Pauline
I loved Reading this blog, lol. I literally thought something really bad was going to happen lmfao. But it ended up being that haha. I love it!
Hopefully they make summit cool haha
Asmiya
Unfortunately the same isn't with me. My mother hates it when I talk to boys. XD
I have no idea what they;re going to do in 2011. Everyone could dress up like pirates, I guess. XD
Isi
That totally did make me feel better. 😀
Thank you sooooooooo much. 😀
When this year started a lot people wore those. I would never spend valuable money on something like that lol.
Holly
Hehe poopy snow! That's all gone now 🙂 Thank you, I'm glad you like my photo. I'm not very good at photography but I'm going to do a qualification in it next year when I go to college. Well that's if I get into college! But I have an A already so hopefully I might get it 😀
Emilka
omgah, we will have to wait till 2020 for next glasses! 🙁 haha, kidding, I've never had those glases 😛
Julia
Yeah, cool themes
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