Like most college students, a little alcohol makes me lose my shit. I’ve found myself hitting on strangers, admitting secrets, and even trying to ride a hamster (okay, so maybe that last one isn’t so common). To be honest, some of my fondest memories are the result of being utterly plastered. This past weekend, however, I stumbled onto a new type of drunken escapades: I was chased by the police. It all started around four [...]

Rap music is dead. Once a genre I cherished, today’s tracks resemble the agonizing yowls of kittens in peril. The lyrics lack inspiration, the vocals mimic malfunctioning robots, and the rhymes wouldn’t impress a kindergarten class. Yet, the real head-scratcher? The bizarre background noises. Some rappers seem to believe a song isn’t complete without a chorus of “yeahs” and “whats,” or, in some cases, literal barking. Yes, barking. Why? Do they fancy themselves as canines? [...]

I’m freaking out right now. I barely catch my breath. With 2010 upon us, there’s a crisis on our hands. No, I’m not talking about Doomsday predictions, a zombie apocalypse, or even running out of toilet paper. This is far more terrifying. Brace yourself. We’re facing the extinction of novelty New Year’s glasses. For a solid decade, the two zeros in the middle of the year were a godsend for eyewear designers. They could whip [...]

I often stumble upon news articles lamenting that children witness too much violence on TV. I’m not here to argue whether that’s true or not, but I do think the authors of those articles are hypocrites. I mean, children have always been exposed to traumatizing amounts of violence. Why start caring now? Exhibit A: “Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop, When the wind blows, the cradle will rock, When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, [...]