Pole Dancing for Babies

While surfing the web, I stumbled upon a bonkers article about a Canadian company teaching pole dancing to girls nine years of age… and under. Seriously? Miley Cyrus, what have you started? Now, for those who don’t frequent strip clubs, pole dancing isn’t exactly your typical ballet routine. It’s what erotic dancers do in place of just going up on stage, taking off their clothes, and standing naked. The moves are often suggestive and sexual [...]

Suck It! Vampires Can Bite Me!

Vampires confuse the hell out of me. I mean, if something’s immortal, it shouldn’t be able to die, right? I can forgive one weakness, but when their immortality is compromised by sunlight, lack of blood, garlic, religion, fire, running water, silver, and even wooden stakes through the heart, they’re basically just humans with a dietary restriction. Seriously, the cheerleader from Heroes was more of a badass. Who came up with the wooden stake idea, anyway? [...]

Let’s Celebrate Gay Power… Rangers

I used to be obsessed with the Power Rangers. Not anymore. Nowadays, they’ve turned into wizards with wands and capes, and it’s Power Rangers and the Chamber of Secrets or whatever. But as a kid, that show was mighty. I even had the bed sheets. The schoolyard boys would rant and rave about how hot the Pink Ranger was. Her name was Kimberly. They’d chant, “Kim’s sexy! Kim’s smoking!” I, on the other hand, was [...]

A Tired Sole: My Stroll into Insanity

Walking is so overrated. There, I said it. If I had my way, I’d rather travel from point A to point B by being catapulted on fire. Walking makes my legs sore and lethargic. I hate it so much that when it’s time for a stroll, I have to do it super early in the morning before my brain catches on. If I could sleepwalk on command, I’d be all over that. I don’t care [...]
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